Friday, August 21, 2009

Something About My House...

"It's something about this house, i swear it. I do so well anytime i'm anywhere else, but then every time i come home, every time i'm at home, all i want to do is sit around and binge."
Ana shot me a warning look. "Resist it," she warned.
"I am," i insisted. "I've only had 400 Calories today, and i'm not hungry."
"You just said you wanted to binge."
"That doesn't mean the same thing as hungry."
She laughed. "You don't make any sense," she told me.
"I know," i said with a laugh of my own. "But it's ok because i don't have to make sense as long as i'm not eating."
"True enough."
The conversation went dry for a moment, a moment that i passed by sitting there poking at my stomach. It was so puffy and fat and gross. I moved on to my thighs, even more fat and gross--and worse, there was a bit of cellulite there. "I'm so ugly," i told Ana.
"I'm helping you become beautiful, though," she reminded.
It was taking to long to be beautiful. It was too much work to be beautiful. However, giving up was simply not an option. "I know you are... Thank you."
"Any time, sweetie."


  1. My house is the same. It's cos we get into the habit of binging there, so when we get home our brain is like BINGEBINGEBINGEBINGE. And of course because we're allowed to eat whatever we want at home lol. x

  2. i always play with my fat too. its awesome. D:
    and the reason you binge at your house (yes there is a reason) is because it is a comfort zone for you. you are used to eating all the time in your house. you have no structure to your eating. what you need to do is when you eat in your house pick ONE spot in the house where you cant watch tv or listen to music or anything so you dont mindlessly eat.. and sit there and eat your food slowly and concentrate on each bite. you will notice after a couple times you will feel fuller faster. =) and you will always eat there anytime you are going to eat in your house. its structure and focus on what you are eating.