Monday, August 24, 2009

Family Dinner... No Thanks, I'll Have a Salad.

"What are you doing?" my aunt asked me in that patronizing voice that i absolutely hated.
"Making a salad," i replied calmly, filling my bowl with lettuce.
"Because i'm hungry." Duh! Why else would i get food?
She looked at me like i had two heads.
"What?" i asked.
She didn't answer.
Wow. People in my family were so messed up.
Everyone sat down around the table to eat dinner. I joined them with my salad bowl.
"Aren't you going to eat a sausage sandwich?" my aunt asked me.
I wrinkled my nose and shook my head. The very thought of all those Calories made me want to puke. "It's pork," i stated.
"So?" My aunt was beginning to get on my nerves by that point. She knew i didn't eat pork!
"So it's full of grease and fat."
"It's good for ya," she said with a laugh, smearing mayonnaise on one of those huge, 200 Calorie rolls and loading it up with meat.
"Bull shit!" Ana hissed.
I jumped, hoping no one but me had heard her. Swearing was not an acceptable form of communication around my family. "Not really," i said, wondering how the hell my aunt could even dare to give me food advice. At 5 foot nothing, close to 200 pounds, she was not exactly what one would consider thin or even healthy.
She dropped the conversation and began talking to my mom.
"You haven't been dating the best guys," my grandma decided to say to me.
"Fuck you; my boy is the best out there!" my mind screamed, but i bit my tongue and smiled sweetly, answering her with a shrug.
"You should stay away from scruffy boys," she continued. "Well, at least that's what the rumors are."
She'd never even seen Matt, and he was beautiful, certainly not scruffy. I continued to bite my tongue and shrugged again.
My grandma shrugged back at me and joined my aunt and mom's conversation.
"So what are you going to do now that you're out of school? Just look for a job?" my grandpa asked me.
He knew i wanted to be a model, but he wouldn't accept that. "Yes," i answered, "at least until i get enough money to start my career." Too bad he wouldn't even make a donation to help me get my portfolio and get on my way.
He grunted and went back to eating. He just wanted me to go to Bible college and be a missionary to some deep, dark jungle somewhere; that was the only way he'd be happy with me.
"No wonder i need you so much," i whispered to Ana. "This family refuses to accept me for the decisions i make and who i am. I need some way to be perfect."
"I'll make you perfect, sweetie," Ana reassured. "Just keep on eating that salad and don't even look at their fat food."


  1. awww :( I hope you get to become a model :). Your definately pretty enough. Great choice with the salad. This post was inspiring! :) xx AnaNonymous

  2. Wow your doing soo good girl. wayy better than i can say for myself at this point. thanks for the tips that I can hopefully try next time. but this time they went to shiiit. :( keep it up doll you DONT wanna feel like me right now. much lovee !

  3. Your family sound a little overcritical.
    I hate fat people who are really like.. selfrighteous about food. It's like they can't be bothered to try and lose weight, so they want to fatten up everyone else!
    Well done for not giving into the pressure. Though I can't imagine sausage sandwiches being too hard to refuse! Lol xxx

  4. yeah... families don't always understand us... good work with the salad! :) Stay strong!
    <3 Pi

  5. well done for surviving dinner!
    who cares what others think? if you wanna be a model.. go for it!

  6. hahaha ahhh your family sound alot like mine..
    Well done today :)
    You're looking beautifully thin in your new pics btw!

  7. Grrr..silly family. Why do families always seem to dissect people like that?

  8. Family... they don't understand much, do they? Oh well. You were amazing! Salad in the face of evil, kind of funny and also inspiring when I think about it. :D I don't like sausage, so I don't have to worry about those kinds of situations. Bacon on the other hand... a greater evil to be conquered.

    Good for you, sticking to ABC!!! :)

  9. Ew I can't even stand the smell of meat anymore. I've been vegetarian for almost a year, and Vegan for about half a year. Woot! What do you want to do for your career?

  10. UGH. My family not only ignored the things I wanted to do, but insulted them. And then they wonder why we consider ourselves failures...?

  11. You have a lot of family members hanging around. What up at that? Modeling would be amazing. <3

  12. I hate the smell of meat, i've bee a vegetarian for almost a year & was a vegan o & off for that time too. Just thik, whe you smell the meat, thik of that fact that the smell is actually cookig flesh, seasrig flesh. It works.

    && your family soud quite asty.. just do what your heart wats you to do, be a model.

  13. my family is exacttly the same! ive been tryin to loose weight so bad im disgusted with myself but they r always eating bad!