Ana slapped my fingers away from the pretzels. "Why the hell would you be eating?! You were doing so well."
I hung my head, but sneakily snagged another pretzel. "I don't know. I was just so hungry..."
"That's the point, dumbass. You're supposed to be hungry. That's how you lose weight!" She knocked the pretzel out of my hand. "Back off the food. NOW!"
Tears welled up in my eyes. I hadn't binged on anything truly bad or Calorie filled. Everything had been at least semi-healthful (until the pretzels came along and forced me to eat them.), but i had still eaten more than my Calorie limit for the day. I had disappointed Ana again. And i had disappointed me again. I would have to confess and disappoint my blog followers again... Oh i was such a disappointment. "I'm sorry," I murmured.
"You always are," Ana spat back.
"I'll do better."
"You always will."
"This time i mean it!" i insisted.
"You always do."
"Shut up, Jo. Just shut up. I'm sick of your crap. Prove yourself to me. Not once, but continually, and maybe then i'll start believing you again."
I wanted to. I truly did... But then, i always did. What would happen if i failed again? How would i go on? "I'll prove myself, Ana. I really will," i said, but i wasn't sure if it was Ana or myself that i was trying to convince.