Thursday, August 6, 2009


Ana slapped my fingers away from the pretzels. "Why the hell would you be eating?! You were doing so well."
I hung my head, but sneakily snagged another pretzel. "I don't know. I was just so hungry..."
"That's the point, dumbass. You're supposed to be hungry. That's how you lose weight!" She knocked the pretzel out of my hand. "Back off the food. NOW!"
Tears welled up in my eyes. I hadn't binged on anything truly bad or Calorie filled. Everything had been at least semi-healthful (until the pretzels came along and forced me to eat them.), but i had still eaten more than my Calorie limit for the day. I had disappointed Ana again. And i had disappointed me again. I would have to confess and disappoint my blog followers again... Oh i was such a disappointment. "I'm sorry," I murmured.
"You always are," Ana spat back.
"I'll do better."
"You always will."
"This time i mean it!" i insisted.
"You always do."
"Ana, i--"
"Shut up, Jo. Just shut up. I'm sick of your crap. Prove yourself to me. Not once, but continually, and maybe then i'll start believing you again."
I wanted to. I truly did... But then, i always did. What would happen if i failed again? How would i go on? "I'll prove myself, Ana. I really will," i said, but i wasn't sure if it was Ana or myself that i was trying to convince.


  1. You can do it :D I definitely believe in you girl. I've made similar mistakes in the last few days but they're JUST blips. Tiny tiny setbacks. Walking a few metres after whilst running a marathon. It all helps us get to our goal, even if it means making us feel guilty and motivating us back into commitment :) good luck!

  2. Yep, the second picture is real, he's just stretching and it's made his waist look TINY. That is now my goal figure :) I can't wait! Thanks for the compliment on the header :D I think I'll definitely keep it now. SO glad you caught my excitement :D hope it gets you through the day all motivated :D!

  3. i KNOW you can do it.
    Keep your eyes on the prize, dont drift..
    Pretzels arent the worst thing you could've eaten, thats a bonus.
    Prove it to Ana. Go work off those pretzels and then some.. Show her you can do it.

  4. Aww be strong darl! Your blog is lovely!! Keep writing and think thin <333 AnaLove

    Ps. I usually buy light RedBull (I can't stand any other energy drink - they put like 32 spoons of sugar in anything else) at Walmart or H.E.B. I've seen them at many convenience stores or even gas station. I practically live off those...mmmm could totally chug one right now *yawn*

    I'm cheering for you! Take care!
    XOXO Lo

  5. Everyone has slip ups! At least yours was minor in comparison to my pig-binge-purge pizza & everything else that wasn't nailed down in my house :S .. Stay strong & think thin; you will show Ana that you are strong & that you can do this!

  6. I know what you mean how you feel you continually fail. That's how I feel a lot. But we gotta get up, and keep trying. You only fail when you choose to quit. And in my book, quitting isn't an option. <3

  7. ahh sweetie don't feel bad. Pretzels are not the worse food. Just try again. And prove Ana wrong this time and make her proud. I'm rooting for you. Just stay strong. You can do it. :)

  8. omg, same thing happened to me today :(
    i gave in, not too bad, but i still did.
    i'm gonna have to restart again soon.. ugh!
    goodluck to you sweetie, don't worry this things happen. the true test of your strength is how well you pick yourself up again!
    :) stay strong

  9. Ok I apologize if I've already replied to this and I'm now replying twice but I can't remember if I already have. But anyway, failures save as motivation. They make you not want to slip up! And honestly I can't think of one person in this community who doesn't slip up from time to time. You're not a failure! When you deprive your body of food, you become ravenous and your animal instincts kick in and then your body is acting separately from your mind. To me, this is all about overcoming those instincts and reaching the point where your mind has full control over your body. And that's a process! You gain control steadily, not overnight. That's where our real strength is developed! Honestly, these slip-ups SUCK, I know they do, but not only are they actually good for your body (logically speaking, of course) but they'll motivate you even more.

  10. If you are starving, your body will make you eat. Tell ana to buzz off for a day and eat a small amount of sensible food and you'll feel so much more in control of yourself. Tell ana you're ready then and then forge on.