I don't know if anyone still reads this ever... But i was shown something yesterday and it made me think of all of you who have read this blog. I've always loved you all so much, even though i've met none of you. This video made me tear up and think of you all. Please watch it, and check out the other videos of this man because he is truly inspiring.
I want you all to know that you are beautiful, and you are perfect just the way you are. I am more or less recovered (and i say more or less because we all have our bad days from time to time), and i know those of you who are reading this don't want to recover. I understand. Obviously, i've been right where you are at. But i do want to tell you: Recovery doesn't mean weight gain; Recovery doesn't mean weakness; Recovery doesn't mean you have to be someone who just isn't you. I know it's terrifying to think of right now, but now that i've reached recovery, i realize there was really no need to be terrified. I love the person who i have become, and i remember how i used to have so much self hate. I don't even really miss Ana. When she does try to come around again, i simply tell her i'm happier without her and would prefer if she never came back. She always does, of course, and she always waits for a moment of weakness, and i believe she always will, but i've realized that my life is mine to live for me, not for her.
I know all of this may sound like a bunch of crap to you right now, but please do think about it, even if just for a little bit here and there. I want you all to have the best lives possible, and with Ana, that's just not doable. I probably won't ever post here again, because it's extremely triggering to me just to be on this site, so goodbye and good luck in all of your endeavors in everything. I love you bigger than the sky!