"Oh, Ana, please!"
Her face was stern as she said a decisive, "No friggin' way."
"I'm under today's 500 Calorie count though, and you woke me up at midnight last night just to keep me up all night. I'm tired and i'm hungry," i whined.
"No. You're not eating the cereal. And no. You're not eating the bread. And no. You are not eating a cookie! Goodness, Jo, what is with your new obsession with carbs? Do you want to get fat? Seriously, just think about what that food will do to you. You're supposed to see that beautiful boy tomorrow. Do you want to be fat for that."
My eyes widened. Ana was right. What would happen if he invited me to sit on his lap? What would happen if my shirt lifted up just a tiny bit and all the rolls of blubber from a binge were exposed?
"I'll tell you what would happen," she said with a wicked smile. "He would think you're fat and disgusting and, if he knew anything about eating disorders, disturbed. We can't have that."
What on earth had i been thinking? I couldn't eat! The very thought of food made me sick to my stomach. "You're right, Ana. I shouldn't even have asked. I'm sorry. I won't eat."
Ana's smile transformed from wicked to kind in an instant. "That's my girl," she murmured, kissing my brow. "Why don't you try to get some rest now, sweetie?"
I nodded. "Thank you for stopping me, Ana." I paused, wondering if i should say the words that were on my mind, the words that were on my very heart. When my decision was made, "i love you," i told her.
"Oh, darling," she giggled. "I love you too."
"And i need you."
"That you do, Jo. That you do..."
Well done!!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with this boy tomorrow ;)
have fun!
XXXxx
Day 9? go you, you're doing so well!
ReplyDeleteAnd turning down a binge is amazing, I'm terrible at it.
Good luck with the beautiful boy today, you're looking really good in your pictures so I hope it goes well xx
Good job resisting the temptation...
ReplyDeleteYou can do this.
Keep strong.
hey, welldone for the control. you're doing very well.
ReplyDeleteyou will complete the abc if you continue the way you're going
i'm super proud of you!
;) keep it up hunni -x-
Congrats. You're looking awesome. I wish I were as thin as you. Yesterday I had a fight with Cheez-it's.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your new boy ;)
Good job! Beat the binge! (Ana even let you rest? Something to be proud of!)
ReplyDeleteI'd never make it to day nine...I don't know if I could make it to day three. Eventually I'll get the courage to ask Ana for help.
wooooo day nine! thats a fifth of the way there! keep up the good work babygirl. <3 so glad you didnt binge last night! =) i hope when you see that boy it is amazing and you will feel good. because guys like confidence, and even though we have none, ana can teach us to fake it ;)
ReplyDeletewicked control. ;) i admire that! keep it up
ReplyDeleteGreat discipline you have! and Yay for the boy! he's a lucky one :)
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work =) I always feel the same way. I want to be skinny enough to easily be lifted or sit on guys. The other night a guy friend of mine hugged me and lifted me up right off the feet made the little ana inside of me giggle inside lol. I love your blg and its unique style <3
ReplyDelete