Ana held the tape measure that encircled my waist. "Well, i don't know how you did it, but you still managed to lose a bit." She moved yo my thigh. "But not there."
I glanced down at the number with a grimace. "At least it's not a gain."
"Sure, sure," Ana said, without sounding very convinced that it was a good thing. She scribbled down the last measurement number on the chart she'd drawn. "Let's just hope that when we measure you again in a week you'll have lost a lot more." She was in a such a sour mood.
"I will," i said with a frown.
I reached for my sugar-free Red Bull, hoping the caffeine high would boost both my metabolism and my mood. My mother had told me earlier that i was crabby, but i wasn't trying to be. It was her fault; she'd walked in on me and Ana while she was taking my measurements, caught me red-handed in my disordered behaviors. I hoped she hadn't noticed how spazzy i'd been about trying to hide the brightly colored measuring tape; i hoped she hadn't noticed the tape at all... But what if she had? Would she monitor my eating? I couldn't afford that, not now that i was so determined to go through with the ABC without a single failure.
"What will i do if she finds out what we're doing, Ana?" i asked the waif rummaging through the clothes in my closet.
"Be strong and find a way around all of it," she answered without even looking at me. "Stop being such a baby about it." She pulled out the beautiful dress i was too afraid to wear because of my fat arms. "Do you want to be confident in this or what?"
The glorious, goth-style dress took away my breath, and all i could do for a moment was nod. "Oh yes," i whispered. "I want to be able to wear it for Matt one of these days."
"I think he'd love it on you... if you weren't so fat," Ana said in all her brutal honesty.
"I think i'd love it on me if i wasn't so fat," i said dejectedly.
Ana pounded a nail into my wall. "Yes. I think i would too." She hung the dress and its hanger from the nail. "There," she said proudly. "Now you'll see it all the time, and you won't be able to forget your goal."
"You're brilliant," i told her, wrapping my arms around her tiny body.
She laughed and returned my embrace. "I know. And you'll be brilliantly beautiful if you'll keep listening to me this time around."
"Oh, i will, Ana," i vowed. "I really will."