Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Day Two

"Ugh, Ana, i'm starving!"
She laughed. "Isn't that the point?"
I couldn't help but join her in her laughter. "Yeah, actually it is." I got out of my car and entered the mall.
Ana followed. "You're doing so well," she told me. "But don't you dare go near that food court."
"Wouldn't dream of it," i said aloud as i was walking through a department store.
The lady at the cash register looked at me strangely. I smiled at her and waved; she turned quickly away, probably thinking i was crazy. She couldn't see or hear the waif-like form that was Ana walking next to me.
Ana put her tiny arm around me, and we shared a laugh at the cashier's expense. I couldn't help but wonder what it was like for that woman. How could a person go through life without ever hearing Ana's beautiful voice, without ever having her force them to count Calories and tell them they'd eaten too many when they'd only had 100, without ever having her shove them onto the treadmill and start it up while they protested. It sounded awful to me. It didn't even sound like living. Without Ana, i would have no purpose, no goal, and nothing to live for.
"You won't ever leave me, will you?" i asked Ana.
She shook her head. "Never, sweetie. I'll always be here. Right by your side."


  1. I know what you mean. This lifestyle is so ingrained in my mind that I can't comprehend how anyone lives 'normally.'

    Great job, dearie. : )

  2. You've lost a bit of weight from your first picture till these new ones - well done darling, keep it up! Very proud of you

  3. you definitely have! go back and look at that first photo in comparison to this new one;
    take note of your hipbones and the shape of your stomach, you're getting a more defined waistline :)
    good luck today!
    -im off to schoool :|

  4. Yeah, I know what you mean... I've come to the point where I can't imagine myself eating the "normal" amount of food other people eat. And I get all nervous when I'm around food. Aaaand of course, I feel totally guilty when I stuff more than 999 cals into my mouth xD
    But it feels oh so good to be actually LOSING weight. Restricting works and as weird as it may sound, fasting makes me happy xD
    I love your posts, did I mention that before? I guess I did haha.
    Soo... keep up the good work ^^
    huugs and sunshine <3

  5. you lookin good in the pic!no wonder cuties are smiling at you, haha
    you are losing weight, well done.i'm jelous.:(

    btw, i so understand what you mean i can't even imagine life without ana EVER!
    &welldone on the abc, you can do it!!
    ps.there's enough of jason mraz to go around ;P

  6. I don't think i've ever lived normally...not really. Gosh *looking at your pic* you have abs! ...jealous... :D Your comment made me laugh. (something about feeling full just by reading what other people have eaten)

  7. I too can't even fathom what it's like for those who don't hear ana's voice. I feel like there is this huge wall between me and everyone who's not on this site. Like I have this huge monumental secret and I feel like it's written all over me, but in a language no one can read...yeah...
    I missed reading your blog so much fairy girl! I'm glad you're doing well and I can't wait to watch you shrink too! And the shorts you are wearing are so cute in the pics too! haha! ; )
    Stay strong <3