I knew it was all over the second i saw the infamous "golden arches" of the McDonald's sign. I'd been able to stay on track all day up to this point, but now... now it was over. I was starving, and there was nothing to keep me at my 300 Calories for the day. Even the salads would bump me over my limit if i ate the entire thing, and i knew there would be no stopping once i started eating. I stared nervously at the menu, my eyes desperately searching for the best option. Fruit parfait? Caesar salad? Fruit and walnut salad?
"Can i take your orders?" the girl behind the counter asked. I let my parents go first, ordering their greasy fat food. "And for you, miss?"
I looked up at her. "Umm, i'll take the caesar salad, with light itallian dressing and a bottled water." Crap. That was 100 Calories too much.
"Skip the chicken on the top and you'll still be fine," Ana whispered in my ear. But it was too late. My plan was already screwed; now i'd just start messing up.
A cute, red-headed boy smiled at me as i carried my tray over to the booth where my parents sat. I looked away and blushed. I was ashamed to be here, carrying the food that would make me fat. I was at a fat-food place; therefore i was fat; therefore i wasn't good enough to flirt. He was beautiful, but i was not. I slunk guiltily into the seat across from my parents and polished off the entire salad--chicken and all--with Ana screaming in my mind to stop. I didn't listen. A little bit over wasn't so very bad, was it?
But it was. When i got home, i walked through the kitchen... or attempted to, anyway.
"You've eaten too much already," my mind told me. "You might as well make a real ordeal of it and eat everything in the house."
"No, dumbass," Ana countered. "You don't need anything else."
Being the brilliant person i was, i listened to my mind. Ice cream, peanut butter, candy bar, pop-tarts, chips... I barely tasted any of it as it flew into my mouth. When i finally stopped, my stomach aching and bloated, Ana was there, looming over me.
"You're pathetic," she told me.
My mind raced, reaching for excuses. "I'm on my period," i said. "I worked out and walked around a lot today...." Then the real reason came out. "I just went through a break up."
"Oh and eating a ton of food will totally patch things up with the stupid boy."
I looked at the floor. "Emotional eating," i admitted.
"Um yeah. Just a little bit,"' Ana said sarcasticly.
She rolled her eyes. "Here we go again. You're sorry. You'll do better. Whatever. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and bounce right back into the game. Don't even bother with the promises you won't keep."
I bit my tongue. She was right. I wouldn't keep promises i'd make, but i still made them to myself. I had to have something to go off of. "I'll do better," i swore silently. "I really will."