"Woah, girl, what are you doing?!" Ana cried, not so much in horror as in total shock.
I took a long drag from my cigarette, coughed like a fool, and blew the remaining smoke out my mouth. "Smoking," i said simply.
"Obviously," she rolled her eyes. "But, Jo, you don't smoke," she said in a statement just as obvious. I'd spent my entire life trying to get people i cared about to stop smoking.
"I know... I just wanted to try it."
She shook her head. "Why?"
I shrugged. "I honestly don't know. Maybe it's because self destructive behavior is my goal. I mean, think about it: i listen to you, which a lot of people see as self destructive; i cut, or i used to until Shaun asked me not to and i gave him my knife; i over-exercise and know it; i drink when i can; i enjoy pain... I do a lot of self destructive things."
"I'm not complaining," she reassured. "It is an appetite suppressant. I just never thought i'd see you with a cigarette in your mouth."
"Neither did i... I don't know. It makes me feel pretty bad-ass," i said with a laugh. "Tastes kinda gross though. I want to try menthol next time."
She laughed with me and took her own drag from my cig. "Whatever makes you happy--as long as it's not food, of course--is fine with me."