Ugh. As usual, i failed ABC before i even started it. Yesterday was good up until about 8:30, when i was watching a movie at a friends house with Shaun and two other people, and Cassie got out the chips and salsa. Of course everyone insisted that i eat some, so it wasn't really my choice, but at the same time it WAS my choice, and it WAS my failure. I'd had exactly 500 Calories prior to that, so it took me over the first limit for ABC. FAILED BEFORE I EVEN STARTED!
SO since i failed, i decided to come home and binge. At least it wasn't all shit food. Actually, the only junk i had all day was the chips and salsa and ONE cookie. Go me, i managed to stop at one. (Trying to be positive here...) I'm sure i stayed under 1500 Cals for the day, but still... Ew.
Waking up this morning, i find out that i have my stupid, fat period. Talk about adding insult to injury. I fail and fail and fail, and my body decides to agree with my brain and tell me i'm friggin fat. I'm bloated from that and last nights binge, so i'm just fat in general with massive cramps on top of it. Gotta love being a woman.
On a more happy note: Shaun is absolutely amazing and i LOVE LOVE LOVE him, even if he and Ana don't get along. He also hasn't been monitoring my eating as strictly. He doesn't ask for a Calorie count or inventory of what i ate at the end of the day every day, so that's good. I think maybe my extended failure might have been good for getting him off my back so much... I do feel kinda bad being deceptive about my eating habits with him like this, but you know... Gotta do what you gotta do.
I think i'm going to keep my food journal on here from now on, so at the end of my posts, which i'll start doing in the evenings, i'll add my day's food intake. Good plan?
AND i apologize, i haven't been reading or commenting or even posting as often as i should. How can i be more busy now that the holidays are over than i was when they were in full blast? But somehow it seems to be that way. I'm going to go catch up on all your lovely blogs now, and try my best to stay caught up. Stay strong, my dears!
hey, you still ate below normal so that to count for something right? 500 less than normal is still good in my book. and i cant blame you for eating chips and salsa, when anyone pressures me into eating its easier sometimes to just comply and eat with them. stay strong, today is a new day.
ReplyDeletehang in there
meg
I know how you feel! I have probably only made it half way through the ABC at the very best. Usually I just fail somewhere right along the beginning.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that Shaun is being a little more lenient. Perhaps he and ana don't get along, but they CAN coexist.
Good luck!
So are you restarting ABC tomorrow? Cause i am starting it yet again, do it together?
ReplyDeleteYes yes yes food journal! I do one on paper, and it makes you think. Write down the food the second you eat it. Or even before. And the calories. You'll stop sooner, trust.
I have one of those little books with cal contents of food in, i just carry it in my handbag, so helpful :)
Hope you are doing well Xxx
Oh sweetie...I'm sorry. That sucks but what can you do in that situation? At least you didn't go full binge on a bunch of junk food. I hope today is a better day!
ReplyDeletexox,
A
i thinnk a food journal is a very very good idea. tell us every...single.thing...you..eat. that way, you wont want us to see you ate 10 cookies, btu you are strong and kept to one.
ReplyDeletei'm happy that you kept it under 1500, because when i binge, i go up sometimes to 3000 cals .ew!
haha and thanks for your comment, you really lifted my mood. :) <3
Oh I HATE my period.... I just got mine too, Sunday, and I was really upset. I blame the chicken broth I've been drinking. The "healing" powers of it must be makng me bleed--how lovely. :( it's been months, I thought it was one fo good!!! Aaagh!
ReplyDeleteAnyway. Yes I think keeping your food journal here is an excellen idea. I do the same thing, when I think of it. Do you maybe think Shaun is being somewhat controlling? I mean, what you personally eat should be your business, unless you choose to share it. I know he cares but please just watch, in case he starts controlling other things....
Aww, my day would have failed but I exercised my ass off >.< Cant say it was a good idea in any way. You should start again tomorrow, just dont give up and if you eat anything over then exercise it off?
ReplyDeleteStay well :)
xx
hmm. i dont think abc is a good idea. u should try like... a fruit fast or a vegetable fast. Cuz feel really full even tho uve only eaten 200cals.
ReplyDeleteAre we twins! It almost seems we are walking down the same track with our up's and downs.
ReplyDeleteI have done will today, not got to 300 cals yet, and as you know I'm started over today.
If you ever want to chat you can find my contact stuff on my blog.
Hugs and love to you xxx