Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Last Night

Ana's deep, sleep-filled breathing filled the silence of my room. Her concave stomach slowly moved up and down as air filled her lungs; even with full lungs and air puffing her stomach up, she was perfection. A slight smile graced her gaunt face. I smiled at her and tossed a blanket over her bony shoulders then rolled over and tried to get some sleep myself.
But what was that? Footsteps in the hall? It wasn't my mother; she'd gone to bed hours ago and there was no reason for her to be back in this section of the house. It couldn't be my father; he'd gone to work the nightshift just half an hour ago. I'd heard him leave. Was it my imagination? No! My doorknob moved, and the door slowly creaked open a crack. I froze in terror. Blue fingers slipped through the crack, and the door kept slowly opening more and more. Then a face peered through, and i screamed in horror.
My scream should have awoken my mother at the other end of the house. It should have awoken Ana, who was sleeping on the floor right next to my bed. It should have made my little dog who was sleeping pressed up against me jump up and go into a barking frenzy. But no one heard me; no one woke up; no one even stirred; no one could save me now.
C's cold hand wrapped around my wrist and she led me out into the kitchen... And then it was all over. I was lost; i was stuffed with fatty foods and sent back to bed a failure.


  1. Keep your head up girl! We are here for you...


  2. how much weight have you lost, since you started this blog, gorgeous?

  3. you write so damn well! Holy crap you're good!

    Tomorrow is another day! keep on fighting<3

  4. I'm sorry! it's okay just fast for a couple days to make up for wat you had at night and exercise more! Also while sitting in class if you bounce your kneee you burn more calories! =)
    stAy stroNg! thiN(k) thiN!
    xoxo Lyndee

  5. i binged yesterday too after hours of c&s :'(
    but remember this: just because we've failed once, again, doesn't mean we have to keep failing. grit your teeth and start back at square one. this sounds really cliche but tomorrow IS another day. and starting out strong again is what will amend what we've done today.

    stay strong x

  6. Don't worry, you are not the only one who has this kind of days.
    The important thing is to stay strong and remember that tomorrow you'll do much better