I made it through two days of ABC and then failed miserably on the third. I went to the mall with Jacob, who insisted we share a pepperoni pretzel (really tasty, but 480 cals for the whole thing). I think i had roughly half of it before i found out how many calories were in it, but when i got home and found out the Calorie count, i had a minor panic attack. "How is it even legal to sell something that high in Calories that doesn't even fill you up?" i wondered out loud. "There should be a law against it; i'm not kidding."
Ana didn't respond, so i turned around to see if she was behind me like i thought she was. I'd thought wrong: she was nowhere to be found.
I knew i'd already had the limit of my Calories, but my stomach rumbled. Hunger was really upon me; this wasn't C taunting me; i was hungry. Surely it'd be ok to eat something, just enough to make my stomach stop growling. So i carefully put together a delicious, satisfying 250 cal sandwich. I ate it and was full.
But the day was ruined and so was the ABC, so i reached for the peanut butter, and the yogart, and the ice cream... And anything else i could get my greedy, thoughtless hands on.
That night, i lay in bed, tossing and turning in fits of self hatred and disgusting, overstuffed fullness. Sleep was not going to come.
"One of these binges," Ana said from her place next to me, "your stomach's going to split open from being too stuffed and all the nasty food's going to spill out, all through your insides. And you know what?" She paused for the dramatic effect. "I'm going to laugh my ass off."
Edit: in the words of Fall Out Boy, "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realize two out of three ain't bad." Stay strong, loves, but try your best to be happy no matter what happens.