"Why?!" i screamed through the tears that were smothering me. "Why the fuck would you do that to me, Ana? He was everything to me; he was all that mattered. Why would you take him from me?!"
Her face remained calm, her voice, emotionless. "He was replacing me."
"So you were jealous? That's it? You're so immature!"
She shook her head. "That's not all. He made you feel all right about yourself. Told you you were beautiful, and you believed him. You thought you looked good, and you ate! You believed him over me."
"So you were jealous," i accused.
"Mostly, yes," she replied, still emotionless.
I could barely breathe through my sobs, but i managed to scream at her, "Matt was my world!!"
"As i should have been."
"I hate you," i whispered.
She barely twitched. "So you want me to leave you then? What will you cling to, who will help you, if not me?"
"I could get him back."
She laughed. "Not without me. Without me you'll binge eat your way to bizarre fatness. And don't even deny it; you know it's true."
"Then help me get him back!"
"Then leave! Get away! Go! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"
"Shut up, Jo," she said sharply. "Just shut up. You know you don't want that."
"I want MATT!"
She rolled her eyes. "You'll never get him. You're too fat. You need me."
And so i did. My stomach lurched. I choked on my tears, and lost my stomach into the toilet. "Fuck you, Ana."
She laughed. "Is that an invitation back into your life?"
I paused only for a moment before replying, "Yes."