Monday, November 16, 2009

Reform

"You say you're eating because you're depressed," Ana said. "But have you ever stopped to think that it might be the other way around? You're depressed because you're eating."
I sighed. Four days of "normal"-turned-binge eating had put me right where i was, deeply depressed about everything, especially my weight, so i ate to try to fix that, but it wasn't helping anything. It had to stop, right NOW. "What should i do, Ana?"
She shoved the bottle of diet pills at me. "Take two of those and then take two more six hours from now like you're supposed to. They can't do anything for you if you're not taking them."
I nodded and swallowed two.
"And restart ABC. You said you could complete it, but you couldn't even complete one week of it. I thought you were going to prove yourself to me. So far all you've proven is that you're weak and useless."
I didn't reply, but her words stung like a million angry bees landing directly on my heart. I wanted to be strong; i wanted to be better. I would start over, and this time, i would finish it victoriously.

3 comments:

  1. posotive attitude! Like it =)

    Stay strong and you will do it.

    ~Creative
    x

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  2. I hate that:
    The more i eat the more depressed i get and the more depressed i gat the more i eat.
    I is a really bad cycle.

    Stay strong hun and you will be back on track in no time.

    OO

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  3. Just poping in to let you know you are my new thinspo. I plan to try the ABC diet after my current fast, and I will be following you to read up on your progress to know that I can be strong like you. Right now I'm a super heffer and can only dream of someday being as small and tiny as girls like you, but I hope if you have time, you may keep an eye on my (hopefully frequent) postings to see that you have been thinspiring me toward my goals!

    And honey, we all have a little "C" inside of us... whatta bi-otch, right?

    ReplyDelete