I have no idea... I don't really count calories that much anymore. I just eat when i can't find a way to get out of it. So if im sticking to ABC its purely accidental, but i'm not doing badly. I think i'm getting skinnier. I think; i hope; i pray. I'll possibly post a few pictures later on so you can judge for yourself.
I'm killing Matt, so he says. I don't mean to. I just really don't think i can handle the emotional pain that being with him would bring me. I wish he'd just hate me. I'm so tired of hurting him, and so tired of hurting myself. I'm exhausted with this life. It's horrid and unfair and there's no easy way out of it. Maybe it'll all be better when i'm skinny.
You deserve to be happy and you deserve to feel loved. Never settle for less.
ReplyDeleteRemember that boys are not the center of the universe. I mean fuck if I had boy problems I'd be fucking stoked, but boys seem to be repulsed by me. "Maybe it'll all be better when I'm skinny." Too true, too true. Anyway, take care of yourself, then worry about Matt. And considering that Matt has treated you like crap, I'd recommend don't care too much about him.
ReplyDeleteI think eating when you can't find a way to get out of it is a very good plan!
Best of luck dearie, I'm sure you're getting skinnier if you feel like you are!
boys are such a pain, seriously. Good luck with your weight loss, maybe if you just focus on that for a few days itll help you clear your head and your body
ReplyDeleteI doubt it would be any better with Matt if you were skinny... not that you aren't. My own experience with brief skinniness was, that other more intriguing guys noticed me, and the old ones who took me for granted sort of fell by the wayside and were jealous. This was not a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteGood for you not having to count calories to keep from eating. Don't despair over Matt. If he can't handle it, its his fault not yours.
i think you should try meeting someone new. i hope you find the happiness you deserve. Stays strong!
ReplyDeleteyou just have to stick to what you want to achieve. you need to think about yourself for now and when you are finally at where you want to be, then you tell matt that your ready for him. you deserve to be skinny, just keep pushing yourself.
ReplyDeletestay strong
meg