Her pale feet stepped silently through my door; her icy hands grasped my shoulder, nearly making me cry out. "Shhh," she hissed. "It's only me. But if Ana finds out i'm here again, we're both dead."
"No, C..." i whined. "I don't want you here either. I was supposed to restart ABC today; i did so good. I'm way under my Calorie limit. I don't want to go over. I'm already a fat-ass; i don't need to binge and get any fatter."
"Oh come now," she said, waving the ultimate binge food in front of me. "It'll be fun. I brought peanut butter."
I sighed. I'd been so good all day. I'd resisted getting food at Sheetz when i filled up my car with gas; i'd resisted the damn pumpkin whoopie pies at work; i'd resisted the McDonald's drive through. They'd all tempted me, and i'd been strong. Now i was going to throw it all away for a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter? "No, go away."
"No, go away."
"Some veggies?" she mocked.
"No, go away!"
"You can't get rid of me that easy," she said. "Just eat something and i'll let you be then. I promise."
I snatched the peanut butter jar from her hand and dug in. "Happy now?" i said in a frustrated tone.
"Nope, keep going."
Why did anger make me want to binge my fool head off? But it did. I reached for the poptarts when i'd had my fill of peanut butter. I ate and ate until i thought i'd explode. Only then did C leave me and i fell to my bed and slept in a sea of self-hatred.