"Ew. What're these little bumpy things on my arms?" i wondered out loud.
"They're food bumps; it's what happens when you eat food." Who knew that Ana was standing right there listening to me?
"Fuck you," i shot back. "I didn't have a choice. Mom made me eat that big-ass dinner. It's not my fault."
"Oh and i suppose she force-fed you the cookies too."
"She did tell me to make them...." i argued.
"Whatever, Jo. No one made you eat gravy on your chicken and potatoes, and certainly no one made you eat all that cookie dough and those two cookies."
"C did," i said lamely.
Ana sighed. "As if you couldn't just tell her to go away."
"It's this house! Every time i'm here i binge." I was really grasping for some way to justify my evil mistakes.
How was i supposed to have a comeback to that? "I'm sorry, Ana," i muttered.
"You really ought to be."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Oh gee, i don't know," she said with bitterness tainting her melodic voice. "Maybe you could actually stick to a plan for once?!"
"I'll restart ABC," i offered.
"Yeah, and that'll last an entire day at the most. Seriously, Jo, you're pathetic."
"No, i'll really do it. I swear."
"And if you don't?"
I searched my mind for something, but came up empty. Cutting would be a reward, not a punishment. It was the only thing i'd ever threatened myself with before. "I... I don't know..." i finally said.
"See? You'll fail!" And she stomped out of the room.
I had to stop upsetting her. I just had to.