Thursday, September 10, 2009

Weak, Pathetic Food-Whore

I woke up reluctantly, stretched, and crawled out of bed. "Ana?" i called softly, but she was no where to be seen. "Oh well," i muttered. "I'll be fine on my own for a little bit."
I stumbled sleepily down the hallway and into the living room, on my way to the kitchen. Breakfast was the one thing i would NOT deprive myself of. But when i got to the living room, i was met by an unwelcome surprise. The TV was on and in front of it sat a perpetually hungry being, stuffing her face with a stack of freshly made pancakes drowned in high Calorie syrup. "C?" i asked in shock.
She swallowed her mouthful and smiled up at me. "Hello there, darling."
"What on earth are you doing here? Ana said you were gone for good!"
C laughed a little bit. "Well in her mind i am. She has no idea i'm here. And she doesn't need to, now does she?"
"You have to leave," i stated firmly. "I'm not letting her down like that again." And i made my way into the kitchen to make some oatmeal.
I reached for the can of oats, but C was there, and she knocked it out of my hand. "Now, now," she snarled, opening a box of poptarts. "Don't get all mean on me. Have some of these instead." She handed me a silver pouch of the pastries.
Like a complete idiot, i popped them in the toaster and ate them. "I'll exercise it off," i promised myself. But i didn't.
C and i just ate all day long, stuffing ourselves to the point of no return, and then she left. "Bye bye, darling. It was so nice to spend some time with you again."
I couldn't say the same. I loathed her.
Then my mom came home and decided it would be lovely to have an enormous chicken dinner. I was too embarrassed to tell her i'd been binging all day, so i forced some of everything on the table down my throat into my aching belly. I didn't clean my plate. "I feel sick," i excused myself. "I don't think greasy gravy agrees with me." That was what i told my mom, anyway. I knew it was just that i'd been an awful glutton and eaten so much that i'd made myself sick.
Ana found me in the bathroom, wishing and praying (without success, of course) to throw up, just this one time. "Serves you right," was all she said.
"Do you want some Tums or something?" my mom asked, poking her head in the door.
"No," i said. Then too softly for her to hear, i added. "I deserve this."

13 comments:

  1. :( sounds like my day, actually it sounds like life right now. This tug of war between the two and mia has been winning. Starting fresh once and for all tomorrow (well i guess tonight) run for an hour and a half then another hour of exercise when I get home. Tomorrow I'm starting diet pills, decreasing my calories, and I'll work out for hopefully two hours. let me know if you want to do this together:) (i thnk support helps)

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  2. oh hunny.. that sounds like exactly what i did the other day. things will get better.

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  3. :( C needs to be murdered. I'll help.

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  4. aww hun im sorry you binged ):
    i had a binge day myself as well, so don't feel to bad! just do extra good tomorrow and it'll make up for it (:

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  5. A) Your pictures are looking good (I love your socks and shorts)
    B) I'm FINALLY back to commenting, so sorry about the long absence, but thank you for supporting me anyway :)
    C) I want to punch Ana and C in the face. And then I want to take you to Disneyland... lol it was the first thing that popped in my head haha.

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  6. Oh hunny. I wish I could take care of C for you. Ana has managed to take over my whole life currently though .... She wants me to get rid of the man .... I'm considering it.

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  7. C always used to come along when id starve because my body was malnurished and it would almost force me to eat. what stupid body systems!

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  8. Aw, I'm sorry hun.
    C is the biggest bitch in the history of bitchville.
    Just try to get back on track. Think of your goal and starve/restrict away.
    You can do this.
    I believe in you. :)

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  9. i hate it when that happens. you just eat and eat.. you know you should stop..but you don't
    :(
    i'm sorry hun. we all go through it sometimes. it will get better and you will get stronger babe. xxxx

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  10. I've just noticed, you comment my blog everyday and I hardly comment yours :(
    Sorry. I read it every day sometimes twice :)

    Don't worry about binging ok? *hugs*
    I'm having a bad day too :(

    xoxox

    Ps. you get so many comments :P Lucky

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  11. My everyday when I'm home alone with nothing to do.
    The evening meal is the worst part - when you're like shit I can't eat anything or I will explode.. but I can't possibly say no meal thanks I've spent the day eating and eating and eating.
    I'm really glad you can't throw up - it's very easy to start, but bloody nasty to stop. I know it feels like something that will make it all better, and it will, but it's horrible in every way x

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  12. I'm sorry you got sick. : (
    If C ever shows her greedy face in your house again, "accidentally" giver her something that will give her major food poisoning. Mwaha. Even though I know she's not a real person, haha. She just pisses me off.

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  13. hey thanks for commenting my post it means alot to me! I know how you feel about pigging out all day. I do it myself ...and im sorry to say i do it quite often these days! I have a technique for you and some mia fool-proof methods if you're interested? I feel kindda bad sharing my disease with someone else but there is nothing more satisfing than watching all that disgusting fat and filth come back out of you.

    stay strong & drink plenty of water when u get hungry!

    xx

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