My legs screamed at me that they did not want to run, but Ana still took my hand and led me to the treadmill. "Ana, do i really have to run tonight? My legs hurt. Isn't it enough that i did 30 minutes of strength training and stayed under my Calorie limit today?"
Ana laughed, a pretty sound, despite it's cruelty. "No, silly girl. Of course it's not enough; it's never enough."
"But i even scrubbed down the entire kitchen today. I haven't just been sitting around. Besides, i'm hungry already; that'll get worse if i run."
"Hunger is good, sweetheart," Ana insisted.
I lowered my voice and admitted, "I'm afraid i'll binge."
"Because you've run? Oh please, Jo, don't be ridiculous. If anything, the run will make sure you're not binging because you'll be busy."
"My legs hurt," i murmured, just loud enough for her to hear.
Her face became stern, as did her voice. "Don't argue with me, and don't get pouty." She pointed an accusing finger in my face. "You said you wanted my help, and i'm giving it to you. So stop complaining and run. Do you not want to be skinny anymore, or what?"
"I do... I'm sorry. I'm just being lazy."
"My point exactly. Now, let's go. Don't let me down now."
"OK." I cranked up the speed on the treadmill and tried to drown out the screaming of my legs with music from my iPod. I would prove myself. I would be strong.
And i would NOT let Ana down again.