I opened my eyes, yawned and stretched. My hand brushed against bone. "Oh, Ana," i gasped. "You frightened me." I rolled over onto my side to see her lying next to me.
She laughed. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I just felt like i needed to sleep next to you, be close to you. Mia was hard on you last night... and so was i."
I nodded, remembering how angry Ana had been with my binge and how frustrated Mia had been when i couldn't make myself throw up.
"But it's all going to be better, starting today!" Ana said optimisticly. "You've got a ton of supporters on your blog, and you've got me to push you along. You'll do splendidly with ABC."
I smiled and nodded again. "Yes. I will." I got out of bed and went straight to the computer to read the encouraging comments left by my blog followers. Everyone was so amazing; they all believed in me so much, maybe even more than i believed in me. And i loved them all for it. I forced down a little bit of oatmeal as i read, hoping it would keep me from food for the rest of the day. "Hey, Ana?" i called, and she appeared in the doorway. "Shall we go work out together?"
A surprised smile lit up her thin face. "Of course."
So we did, Ana tirelessly counting reps as i not-so-tirelessly completed them. "You can stop now," Ana allowed after 30 minutes of sweatyness. "But you'll still have to do 30 minutes of treadmill time later this evening."
"Sounds good to me," i groaned and collapsed onto my pink yoga mat, tired but satisfied with my strength.
Ana stayed close to me the rest of the day, constantly reminding me not to eat, that i was a fat cow. I obeyed and managed to finish off the day, family dinner and all, with only 410 Calories.
"I'm impressed," Ana admitted. "You're doing better than i expected."
I smiled smugly. I had proven myself to her for at least one day. "Treadmill?" i asked eagerly.
"You're just full of surprises today, aren't you?" she laughed. "Let's go."
"I had proven myself to her for at least one day"-that is exactly how it feels. The control is so delicate. Constantly wanting to prove ourselves, scared and excited for each day. Thanks for letting me know to look at your blog. Your comment was so sweet <3 And I'm so flattered that you think I look thinner than 166 ; ) Judging by your photo I'd say you have an awesome sense of style too, also you must be so creative to write such a unique blog, and I love creative people : D
ReplyDeleteStay strong and good luck on abc's <3
PS-ditch Mia, she's a bitch ; )
I agree with Dot on her first statement. And when you've got a taste of that control, it becomes addictive and failing is an even scarier prospect.
ReplyDeleteI like your dress btw, it looks a little bit lolita, which is just the best style imo x
Well done <3
ReplyDeleteAgain, I love your blog.
You can keep it up :)
hey you're welcome,you're blog is so motivating and inspiring i've made it routine to read it everyday, lol i love it!
ReplyDeletei tottaly agree
mia is a bitch!! she got me yesterday :(
i was doing so well..
but i can make myself throw up and i did wake up 2lbs lighter today. :)
goodluck on your abc!
Why is it so hard to go without food, even for one day??
ReplyDeleteI love your blog. I think it prefectly exemplifies something we can all relate to.
Stasi sponsored pop-operatics.
ReplyDeleteI like your style. It makes your blog interesting.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck to you <3
You're doing marvelous
i used to be stuck with mia for the past year and half.. im trying to get closer to ana and so far i realized shes way nicer and a bit more mature like you said. your blogs are inspiring.. and should be made into a book!
ReplyDelete