Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Inspirational Piercing

"How the hell am i going to eat only 300 Calories today?" i murmured to myself.
"Well, first off, take it easy on the coffee. It'll give you the shakes, drinking that much at once with no food."
I was on my fourth cup--black, of course, so as to have next to no Calories. "Hey, back off the coffee drinking habit, Ana," i said irritably. "I've got to stay awake somehow today... since you kept me up all night."
Ana shook her head and laughed. "Oh no, sweetie, that was all your own doing. Your mind kept wandering; i just gave you some ideas to keep you busy."
"And awake." I'd spent the night looking at thinspo pictures, reading blogs, brainstorming, and doing basicly anything but sleeping, but most of what i'd done had been Ana-related. Fortunately, that had kept me from eating anything. I usually binged hard-core when i pulled an all nighter like that. This morning i was dead tired though; i needed tons of caffiene if i was to avoid food all day.
"Oh, hush now. Let's not quarrel," Ana said cheerily. "Besides, i did give you a lovely idea, didn't i? Are you going to?"
I smiled. Ana was so nice to be around when i was pleasing her. Last night, she'd suggusted that i get my belly button pierced, and i truly loved the idea. There were so many reasons to do it, some for me, and some for Ana: A) i wanted a piercing so bad, one that i could easily hide from my parents, B) also i needed to get in a bit of rebellion, i was tired of feeling stepped on by my parents (and secretly Ana), C) thinspiration, no one wants to see a beautiful piece of jewelry embedded in flab, D) i wanted to reward myself for doing so well thus far with the ABC... The list just kept going on. "I think i will," i answered Ana. "I don't see why not."
"Yay!" Ana clapped her hands, almost reminding me of the less-mature Mia for a moment. "Excited for it?" she asked.
"Way excited," i laughed.
"Good. Me too."
She held my hand when i got the piercing done at the little tattoo shop, and whispered to me that i could have a tattoo when i was thinner. That was huge inspiration, not to mention the chubby guy that pierced my skin, who made an excellent reverse thinspo. Later that night Ana helped me clean the piercing before i went to bed. We'd had an excellent day together, no quarrels and no binges, not even any temptations to binge. "You did great today, sweetie," she whispered as i drifted off to sleep in her arms. I smiled through my sleepiness. I loved to make her happy, loved it more than anything else in the world.

6 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for always leaving me the sweetest comments <3
    Congrats on the piercing! What positive self thinspo! ; )
    And really wonderful job today with staying under your limit! You are sooo strong!
    Also, I tried to comment on your last post, but it didn't go through : (
    I know what you mean by the last line. It's like this special private happiness when we make Ana happy.
    Wonderful job today <3

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  2. omg, you got a belly button peircing..
    i might use that as a thinspo and reward myself when i reach 125lbs.
    glad to hear you're doing good on the abc. keep it up!!!
    i was thinking of starting it next week.. :S
    but not sure i have enough control..lol

    xx gd luck

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  3. Glad to see things are going to well with Ana! She and I have been getting along well lately. (Er, except for that brownie last night....hey, my calorie limit was 600! I didn't go over!)

    Warning for people who might be considering this: keep in mind that a belly button piercing is one of the most easily infected piercings, as well as having a high rate of rejection and "moving".

    (I'm friends with pros, and they beat this stuff into me!)

    (I'd still get mine pierced, if I didn't hate my belly so much.)

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  4. heya, thanx for your lovely comment. :)
    omg, i hate food so much, yet i find it soo irresistable. :P
    yesterday decided to punish myself and not purge...
    i felt sick today.
    ana made me walk for 1hr 45min :( in the pouring down rain. but i feel much better now.
    thats the last time i binge and keep it.lol
    :) xxxxx

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