"I can't do it, Ana. My mom's going to know what we're up to for sure." Today was supposed to be a 100 Calorie day, but Mom knew that i hated to eat, and she knew when i didn't eat much. Today would be impossible to get through without being questioned.
"Not if we do it the sneaky way," Ana replied with a wink. "Go get a huge bowl of oatmeal, take a couple bites out where she can see you, and then bring it back here."
"We're going to get rid of it then?" i asked.
She nodded slyly. "Of course, silly."
"You'll help me, won't you? I don't know if i can get rid of something i just started eating."
She nodded again. "Yes, but only if you absolutely need it. I want you to try it on your own first, show yourself how strong you are."
"I'm not strong at all," i admitted.
"Oh, that's what you think. Now go on."
I obediently went out to the kitchen and filled a bowl with an insane amount of oatmeal. I'd never seriously consider eating that much. It was awful just to look at how much was in the bowl. "I'm really hungry this morning," i told my mom through a bite. It certainly wasn't a lie. I took two more bites. Then i disappeared into my room with Ana.
She shoved the trash can at me. "Dump it," she commanded.
It was much easier than i'd thought. The sight and sound of the food plopping away into the trash rather disgusted me. Was that how it would sound going into my stomach? Eww! I had no idea how i could ever have considered eating it. I waited exactly 15 minutes before i returned the bowl to the kitchen and claimed the only thing that would get me through the day: my beloved black coffee.
Ana chuckled softly at the sight of me cupping my mug in my hands and holding it so close to me that you would have thought it was worth millions. "You really are quite addicted to that stuff, aren't you?"
"No more addicted than i am to you," i shot back.
"True," she said approvingly. "Very very true... Treadmill?"
I smiled. "Another addiction. Certainly. Just let me finish my coffee."
And just as Ana had said, the day went by perfectly. She helped me, and in return, i pleased her and did not exceed my Calorie limit. All was well.
Everytime I throw food away, even though I feel guilty, it's like a release. I always feel that little bit more free.
ReplyDeletewell done! you're doing the abc absolutely perfectly
ReplyDeletex
Well done on your progress through ABC! I tried it and stuck to it for like 4 days, but there's far too much going on right now to keep it up. Because it's our last summer before uni everyone wants to go out constantly and party... just not possible to combine that with a 100 calorie day haha. BUTTT I don't have anything planned for the first half of august so I hope to be able to meet my 15lb target! I agree with your comment on the hoodie guy. When my legs look like that I'm going to be incredibly pleased :)) I won't be working out until I get back home on Thursday... so I'll make the most of these few days of no intensive workout lol. I'm so jealous that you have a treadmill! Glad to see your blog is doing so well. I read through your last posts and I really like it :)
ReplyDeleteOh I'm so glad you were able to get away with it! And really great job on abc's. You are strong to be able to deal with it!
ReplyDeletethanks so much for always leaving me such wonderful comments too ; ) It's nice to know someone else relates with the whole being disgusted by food thing in the same manner I am. With how you were wondering about the food in the trash can and comparing it to your stomach is kind of what I do when I look at food. I imagine how disgusting it would be inside me. It is interesting isn't it how we've developed this view?
I just might force my way into the pink room ; ) you made me feel better about it.
Thanks for reassuring me about the fasting being able to take it off. I've been so down watching the scale every day. But you are right, it will go down now ; )
Stay strong <3
PS-I don't know how you can drink black coffee! I'm actually kind of jealous because I would love the pick me up, but coffee always makes me throw up so I'm stuck with tea : /