I stared at the cookies on the shelf at Wal-mart. They looked wonderful... I could buy a package, and just eat two or three... or the whole thing. A lady turned down the aisle pushing her cart. I smiled and said a nervous "hi," embarrassed to be caught looking at the fat food. Then i sneaked off to drool over the cupcakes.
"What sort of stupid place puts cupcakes in the middle of everything so everyone can see you looking at them?" i muttered, casually walking by the cupcakes five or six times and looking at them out the corner of my eye.
"What sort of stupid person walks past the cupcakes a dozen times so no one will see them looking at them?" Ana countered. "Move along, now, Jo."
I bit my lip. My hand reached for the five-dollar pack of cupcakes, but just at that time a super-skinny girl walked past. It might have been my imagination, or she might have watched me carefully just to see if i was going to buy those and stuff them all in my face. Ana smacked my fingers, and i drew them back. "Yes, yes, move along," i murmured, and went over to the make-up and magazine section to buy what i'd come for. I made it safely past the chocolate and through the checkout line with only my foundation, powder, and ELLE magazine (with Kiera Knightley on the cover).
Ana patted my back and congratulated me on my success, but it wasn't over yet. I still had to get gas in my car. There was bound to be lots of food at the gas station. "Don't even think about that, sweetie," Ana told me. "Just get the gas and a bottle of water. You'll be fine." And somehow i was!
I came home, craving sugar, but ignored it and ate chicken and veggies instead. "Good girl," Ana whispered. "Keep this up."
I hoped to God that i could.
Oh, and anonymous--oh wow i spelled it right! Heart attack!--for every one person who hates me, i've got at least one more who loves me. Nightlight posted a special post just for me, but also for you. Check it out, if you would.