Thursday, February 11, 2010


I stared at the cookies on the shelf at Wal-mart. They looked wonderful... I could buy a package, and just eat two or three... or the whole thing. A lady turned down the aisle pushing her cart. I smiled and said a nervous "hi," embarrassed to be caught looking at the fat food. Then i sneaked off to drool over the cupcakes.
"What sort of stupid place puts cupcakes in the middle of everything so everyone can see you looking at them?" i muttered, casually walking by the cupcakes five or six times and looking at them out the corner of my eye.
"What sort of stupid person walks past the cupcakes a dozen times so no one will see them looking at them?" Ana countered. "Move along, now, Jo."
I bit my lip. My hand reached for the five-dollar pack of cupcakes, but just at that time a super-skinny girl walked past. It might have been my imagination, or she might have watched me carefully just to see if i was going to buy those and stuff them all in my face. Ana smacked my fingers, and i drew them back. "Yes, yes, move along," i murmured, and went over to the make-up and magazine section to buy what i'd come for. I made it safely past the chocolate and through the checkout line with only my foundation, powder, and ELLE magazine (with Kiera Knightley on the cover).
Ana patted my back and congratulated me on my success, but it wasn't over yet. I still had to get gas in my car. There was bound to be lots of food at the gas station. "Don't even think about that, sweetie," Ana told me. "Just get the gas and a bottle of water. You'll be fine." And somehow i was!
I came home, craving sugar, but ignored it and ate chicken and veggies instead. "Good girl," Ana whispered. "Keep this up."
I hoped to God that i could.

Oh, and anonymous--oh wow i spelled it right! Heart attack!--for every one person who hates me, i've got at least one more who loves me. Nightlight posted a special post just for me, but also for you. Check it out, if you would.


  1. Correction: for every person who hates you, there are 10 that love you. Fuck the haters.

    We love you for who you are :)

    Good job resisting cupcakes! Someone at work gave me Valentines Day cookies and I have been fighting myself over them all day. Ugh.



  2. wow congrats on being able to pass up cookies and cupcakes!
    i cannot go into gas stations anymore because im never strong enough to resist the gross food. i always come out with chips and nachos and cookies.
    thats so sweet of her to write that for you!we all love you on here jo, dont ever doubt that :)
    stay strong

  3. I can't believe this crazy person is harassing you so much darling : ( I really hope they stop. And there's more than one person who likes you for every one who doesn't ; ) I think it's more like at least 20 who like you to 1 who doesn't. I actually can't imagine why anyone wouldn't like you. You're so adorable and such a talented writer and totally gorgeous too <3
    Awesome job on resisting! I've always believed in you and this post makes me so happy since your last few have been kind of sad. You deserve success.
    Stay strong <3

  4. Hi, I just want to tell you that I'm totally on your side. People who try to tell you you don't have an eating disorder just because you aren't under weight are crazy. I'm in the same situation as you. My eating problem is EDNOS too, so I understand you and where you're coming from. Don't listen to anyone trying to drag you down. Stay strong<3

  5. you are one strong girl! in the grocery store i must stay out of the aisles or else. very inspiring post =)

  6. hey :)
    i've been reading for awhile and thought it was time to comment. i think youre doing a great job. fuck what other people say. anonymous is probably just jealous of your control:)
    and maybe you could check out my blog sometime? i just started, so i have like one post, but i cant wait to get it going! it would mean alot, but you dont have to. anyways, keep going! you'll get there soon

  7. you're doing GREAT!!
    ignore the bitches- they're either jealous, or ignorant.


  9. there's another person like me. you are still a disgrace to people with a real ED. you always binge. that rules out anorexia. bulimia? nope.....


    substancial weight loss? nope
    loss of period for three months? nope

    some people are ACTUALLY struggling with this, and ACTUALLY are overhwlemed by it

    stop pretending

  10. Hey! Guess what!
    Fuck you!
    I really don't care about dumbasses like you:
    I'm just doing this because I'm bored. You, however, obviously have no life. That's why you have to blog about all of your problems; to be an attention whore.
    Did daddy not hug you enough? :C I cry so much for you!
    I should start a blog about all of my disorders. Yeah! I'll call them David, Betty, and Andrew!

    1. lol Yeah lets call it Dani or charles!

  11. Oh, and you only spelled it correctly after I corrected you. I'll bet you second checked that, just to make sure.

  12. Ana's girl- Hey. I'm not a troll, so don't delete this! I stumbled across your blog, and I'm sorry, but I have sort of a problem with this. You say you want to "hopefully help others get to know Ana better."
    Everybody has their right to free speech, but, I really don't like you encouraging Ana. It's like saying "OMG! I totes want u to get 2 know Body Dysmorphic Disorder better!" or "I want you to become friends with Depression!" I don't know, it just doesn't seem okay to me.

  13. Ana speaks when your stomach rumbles.

  14. Hey Anonymous, you should not call yourself an attention whore! But hey you are! I've contact blogger about your posts and they are looking into it! So please come over and post your shit at my blog, then they will have not only this blog, but my to look into.. :)

    Knock knock, Oh shit it may be the cops... LOL

  15. Ok this is getting god damned ridiculous. Jo has been one of my best friends for a few years now and she's the prettiest, kindest, and nicest(and yes Anon I know that's redundant. Fuck off) person I know and probably ever will know.

    Now for my fellow Anon douche bags:
    First off an ED is still and ED regardless or the degree of severity. She has come to terms with and embraced her ED and she comes here because she has friends here who love her and accept her and even support her when most people would try to "fix" or change her. Now why don't you stop pretending to be functional member of society and walk away from you're computer and this blog. Oh and don't forget you're helmet you know you're not supposed to go out without it.

    Now for Captain Spell Checker... You have the nerve to tell her to get a life? So let me get this straight, you sit here and thoroughly analyze every post she makes and pick out every single spelling error yet she's the one that needs a life? Also you call her an attention whore yet I'm betting you're getting more enjoyment out of this attention than she is like I said to the jack ass before you she posts here because she knows the people here support her which is hard to find with any kind of ED. Now if you're starting a blog about all your porblems be sure to let us know so we can come harass the living hell out of you too although I don't this the internet is big enough for a list of your problems. Although look at the bright side if you start naming all your problems maybe you'll be able to convince yourself you actually have friends! (Oh and P.S. I know I spelled problems wrong I did it just to piss you off more now leave Jo alone and go jerk off with a dictionary or something)

    Now for the last Anon. I don't really have a problem with your post because you did it in a respectful and polite manner. And yes initially I'll admit I didn't approve of her ED or her fondness of it but she's my friend and all I'll say is if you don't approve you don't have to read it.

    Sorry I posted a novel here but some of this needed said and Jo you know we love ya and we're always here for you if/when you need us no matter how much these piss ants try to put you down. Stay strong.

  16. I'm truly jealous. One day I hope to be as strong as you. Do you have any tips for beginners?