"What're you' doing?!" Ana shrieked. "You'll ruin everything. No! Stop! Jo, i'm serious! STOP!"
But i kept putting food in my mouth. My stomach was already full to bursting after that one bowl of cereal but i didn't care. I wanted to taste something. I wanted that peanut butter; i wanted those cookies; i wanted that sandwich; i wanted those hot wings! And i ate all of them, with Ana crying in the corner i'd stuffed her into. When all the food had disappeared, i found my own corner and shut out Ana's sobs with my own. "Stupid, fat, ugly, greedy bitch," i whispered angrily at myself. "I wasn't even hungry, dammit!"
Mia peeked her pretty little face around the door frame. "Jo, honey, can i help in this situation?"
I ran to her and fell into her outstretched arms. "Please," i begged.
Together we made the trip to the toilet. I shoved my finger in my throat. A little gag, nothing more. No matter how hard i tried, i couldn't get anything up even though my stomach felt sick. Mia handed me a toothbrush, and i tried that, but it didn't work either. We rushed to the medicine cabinet, looking in vain for laxatives even though i knew there were none. When we couldn't find any, i fell to my bed, exhausted, emotional, and far too full. "In the morning, i'll be there for you, honey," Mia whispered, and i fell into the oblivion that is sleep.
Mia kept her promise, and was by my side when i awoke. We started a torturous workout at 9:30, and she insisted that we keep going until 12:00. I had to take many breaks and rush for the bathroom as my stomach was hating me every bit as much as my brain for the binge, but i didn't stop. I had to get rid of the food somehow. Ana sat on the couch and moped, watching me sweat. "Fucking idiot," she muttered. "Serves you right."
I had to agree. At 11:40 i collapsed in a pool of sweat and tears and could not be made to move any more. Mia was satisfied enough and left me a parting gift of a kiss on the cheek. "Stay strong," she whispered and was gone.
I looked to Ana for guidance. "What now?" i asked. "Please don't hate me. I still love you."
Her face softened a bit and she said, "I still love you too. Just start on day six of ABC, and stick with it."