Wednesday, February 10, 2010


I apologize in advance... This post is yet again, not going to be in story form. I'm feeling so blah and lazy and just generally crappy. I tried to find the energy to write a story-form post, but it just wasn't happening.
Today was the crappiest day ever... I woke up to massive amounts of snow, and i HATE snow. I mean, sure, it's pretty or whatever, but it's so cold and obnoxious that it cancels out the prettiness. I was supposed to go to town, hang out with a friend, and do some shopping for a Valentines day gift for my man, but the roads were too bad and my mom wasn't letting me out of the house. So, what better way to deal with disappointment and boredom than to binge? *Yes, you do sense a massive amount of sarcasm right there* I bloody hate myself and my fat, controlless mouth. I don't even know how many Calories i ate, but i do know that it was too much. I should have known better than to start the day out with peanut butter...
I couldn't sleep at all last night for no reason at all, obviously it wasn't from not eating because, yeah, of course i fucked up the ABC. I always do... But when i finally did get to sleep, what do i dream of? FOOD! Ugh. All kinds of freaking fat food. Well, ok, a lot of it wouldn't necessarily be fat food, but the amounts i ate in my dreams made it fat.
I hate food. Why does it haunt me? Why does it torture me so? It's not fair. My mom used to be so so skinny, and she never even paid attention to nutrition or exercise or anything. It just all came to her naturally. Even now, as she's getting older, she doesn't worry about what she eats, and she's not fat. She's always been totally normal about food, never even dieted in her life... I wish i got the normal end of the gene pool... But nope, i got my grandma's messed up food habits. Lovely...
Sorry about all the whining. I promise i'll post something more enjoyable tomorrow. *massive hugs to all who were patient enough to read all of this crap*


  1. Honey, food haunts you this way because you deny it so much. Your body NEEDS FOOD. The reason that all of this is happening, the reason for the binges, the dreams, etc., is because your body is trying to get you to eat- and as much as possible. It's basic psychology.
    Seek help if you want to lose weight.

  2. Awe hun I'm sorry you're feeling so bad : ( Its not a load of crap, you should never apologize for posting.
    You'll get back on track just like you always do ; )
    I totally dream about food too though! Not wanting it, but it chasing me....yeah...
    Thanks for all the lovely comments by the way <3 I know I'm not the best at writing back, but I do try when I get a chance : /
    Stay strong <3

  3. oh hun im so sorry you had such a sucky day. try not to let it get you down. heck i know that if im snowed in i go into "panic mode" and eat everything in site. dont let one day of bad food ruin how hard you've been working lately. one good thing about snow is that shoveling out the driveway/sidewalk is a great way to burn cals. you could even go build a snowman, that would surly burn off most of what you ate today. stay strong :)

  4. :( We needju back babe.



  5. Wow, Anon really misses the point.

  6. Ummm, there is no such person as KIERA Knightley If you want to look like her maybe start with learning her name?

  7. Sometimes we all lose our control and eat. Eat like a pig, don't think about the calories just eat. I'm sorry for you are feeling so bad. It hurts me =(. I totally agree with embre don't let you day ruins your whole mood and week. You know what. EVERYDAY IS THE BEGINING.

    xoxo, kate lunacy.

  8. Jo I love you. I've read your blog for awhile now and it's helped me to learn to love Ana. I used to think I was some freak. Love a diff anonymous:)