That ranch dressing... I could buy a bottle and just drink the whole thing.
"Do. Not. Make. Eye. Contact. With. Anything. In. This. Store." Ana warned from her position behind me.
My stomach gurgled and i ripped my eyes away from the dressing. "Funny, i don't even like ranch." And that was the truth.
I spotted the olive oil and instantly thought the same thing of it that i had of the ranch. "I could drink that too..."
"And then you'd be miserably sick," was Ana's reply.
I had to agree with her. Besides, that was disgusting. I wanted to fall down and worship the wall of cereal boxes, but instead, i just stood in front of it and stared for far too long.
"Well, at least that's something a bit more normal to want to eat," Ana muttered, taking my shoulders and leading me away from the cereal. "Come on now, keep moving."
I nodded and stepped into the next aisle. "Pancakes!"
"Oh hell no," Ana said. "Come on, we gotta get you out of here."
"I can't," i replied. "I work here."
"Good thing or you'd have robbed the shelves by now," she said sarcastically.
"Where would i go if i could leave?" i asked. "Home to binge? I'd rather stay."
A huge smile spread across her thin face. "Well, well. Now you're beginning to think like me."
I returned the smile. I liked thinking like Ana.
oh my you work at grocery store, that must be difficult =/
ReplyDeletegrocery stores are the absolute worst!
ReplyDeletelol i thought that the other day about mayo. i was like" mmm i could mix some lemon juice into that and drink it like a milkshake". i cant stand mayo! the smell alone makes me vomit but i was so hungry i was willing to eat it. thank god C ate it all on a sandwich.
ReplyDeletegood job staying strong.
pancakes have been haunting my brain for weeks now, you can always look for some low cal frozen waffles. some are only like 70 cal per waffle. :)
stay strong
meg
fuckin hell that was MAJOR CONTROLLAGENESS going on there! i'm soo pround of you! keep it up hunni, u have my support!!! <3 xx
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad for you, honey!! See? We all said you could, and you ARE doing it... Keep going! =)
ReplyDeleteJ.
i work at a grocery store too. listening to people talk about food and seeing what they buy makes me realize how different i am about it. and when i'm restricting it makes me feel so much more powerful to be there, around all that food. especially ringing people's groceries through. the mean bitch in me is disgusted by most of the stuff they buy.
ReplyDeletecongratulations on grasping control. you know you have excellent will-power beccause i've seen it from you before. whenever you feel down because of a stupid binge, dont promise to do do better next time.. DO do better next time ! why? becuase we BOTH know you can sweeetie (: And I think the only reason you even give in is because you expect yourself to fail. But you won't your too good at thiss! But it looks like you've been doing really good the past couple of days girl congrats on ABC & keep it up cuz your going places this timee. I know it !! <3 Much Love. Livv.
ReplyDeleteDon't we all like to think like Ana? I'm so glad you found your control! Now I need to find mine! Stay Strong!!
ReplyDeleteSomeday, turn your blog into a book.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
You write so well!
ReplyDeleteBut I'm sorry to see that Ana has managed to "break" you too.. It makes me sad.
Good luck hon!
Love Jen.
working in food shop that must be tempting but yet at the same time you cant buy food from there cause every one knows you there and would probz look at you funny if you bought olive oil to drink
ReplyDeletei would have so much fun being nosy at what other people bought
yay for agreeing wiht ana x
I know you hear this like a bazillion times but please... please write a book for us someday :) You could even start now. Each blog entry is so well developed.
ReplyDelete