Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Happiness, Yo!

The permanent smile remained on my face as Ana hugged me tight. "You're doing great, sweetheart," she told me.
I returned the hug. "I don't need food or drink when i have his smile."
"He loves you as much as i do." She sounded amazed that anyone could love that much.
I nodded. "Of course he does." I couldn't help but think that i loved him as much as i loved her... but i didn't dare say that because it'd surely make her angry. She could get so jealous at times.
She shrugged. "Whatever, at least it's keeping you from binging and stupid stuff like that."
"It's keeping me from sleep too," i laughed. "I didn't sleep at all last night because i was just too happy."
"You goose," she giggled. "I played a huge part in that too. Don't you know that when you don't eat enough you get insomnia?"
"Oh yeah..." i murmured. I wished i could keep my mind more focused on Ana, but all i could seem to think of was Jacob. Yet at the same time, i loved thinking only of Jacob... I was torn between the two that i loved the most, but it didn't hurt at all. In fact, i was sure that they could co-exist rather happily.


  1. Guys are amazing motivation for sure. I am going through the exact same thing right now. Yesterday I sailed through a liquid fast and 75mins on my elliptical. I didn't feel anything, I just thought about him everytime I wanted to give up and give in. :)
    Great job hun!
    Scarlet <3

  2. I've felt torn between my ED and a guy/boyfriend/friend or whatever before too. At one point I remember being so surprised at myself for thinking that I loved Ana more than my boyfriend (currently my ex). I was probably right about that, anyway. It's a weird feeling, huh?
    By the way, I saw your picture post- you're beautiful and really should smile more. :)

  3. Yay! :D I'm so happy things are going well with Jacob. and I know him and ana will coexist perfectly if you play it right.
    Stay strong and happy <3

  4. Aww :) More info on this Jacob fella? Its great your feeling wonderful at the moment :) xx

  5. Good to see you're feeling better!

  6. Its so great to hear Jacob is already making you this happy. I hope he treats you well and will appreciate you for the beauty you are, inside and out. Jacob and Ana can coexist in your cranium. It is possible. Stay strong, good luck, and congrats on finding love again <3



  7. yay! *does happy dance*

    im so glad your feeling better and that jacob was able to lift your spirits.
    stay strong

  8. I love to read happy posts from you. :D Makes my day, babes. <3


  9. i'm liking the happiness in your posts. its such a huge change and i'm glad you're feeling better hun! xxx

  10. I like your writing style a lot, and I'm happy for you too! That sounds great that he accepts you the way you are and everything.
    It's cool how you made Ana a person.