Careless People Say They Love You

I'm feeling a bit down, so do forgive me as i give a bit of a rant on how i don't feel loved by most everyone in this world...
It really feels like my parents don't much care about me. When they found my blog, they got mad at me for drinking and smoking and having sex, but barely mentioned the eating disorder. You'd think that they'd be concerned that i was barely eating and that was what i wanted. I mean, that's supposedly unhealthy, right? The only thing they got mad about that had to do with the eating disorder was that i'd lied to them about what i ate from time to time. They never said i needed help in that area or anything... They didn't mention the cutting at all either.. I try to tell myself that that's just because they really didn't know how to handle it, but it seems so much more like a sign that they don't care about my physical or mental health at all. I sort of believe my mom when she says she loves me, but in all honesty, i really don't believe my dad at all. My dad doesn't want me to be with Jacob even though he's the only reason i stopped drinking, cutting, smoking, and am trying to stop Ana, and my mom just follows what my dad says... I don't understand that. How can they love me if it would make them happy to take the one thing that makes me happy away from me?
My pastor and his wife were the ones who found my blog and passed the address onto my parents. I really don't believe they cared much either. They wanted to talk to me about it, but all that they talked about was the alcohol and sex. Sure, as soon as "blog" was mentioned, i began to tell them that the eating disorder was not a problem, but they instantly agreed with me. It was fine with them that Ana was taking over my life. I just needed to not have sex and not drink. As long as that happened, eating nothing was perfectly fine. In fact, as i went to walk out the door after talking with them about it, my pastor's wife decided to make a nice little joke. "Don't eat too much at lunch," she said. I fake-laughed and tried to ignore it, but it cut deeply. It was just proof that i was far too fat.
Now, as i live with Jacob and his family, his mom seems to constantly think that he's being rude to her even though that's the last thing he ever wants to do. It's probably because all of her other kids are always rude to her and using her for money, but Jacob never has been, nor will he ever be. Somehow, i blame myself for that situation and believe that if i wasn't here, she'd be just fine with him. It's just that she doesn't like me. She seems to like me to my face, but i really don't know... Everyone who lives here is constantly being hateful to everyone else who lives here, and it really gets annoying to see people just longing to hurt each other. It gets me in depressive moods just to hear the constant yelling about any little thing. I know it's senseless to blame myself for any of that, but it's how i work anyway.
Last part of the rant right here, i promise: Jacob. No, i don't believe for a minute that he doesn't love me just as i am. I know he does... Just yesterday, he hurt me for the first time. I was catching up on reading and commenting all of your blogs, and he was by my side, reading a bit of what i read and all of what i said. I trust him enough to let him be with me as i read and comment and post because i know he's not going to be disrespectful of me or of any of you. But yesterday, he criticized me for some of my comments. "Why do you encourage them in not eating?" he asked. "You yourself have admitted that it's not healthy, and you're trying to stop. You said that you wished they could quit as well, so why encourage it to go on?" I did my best at explaining to him, but he really didn't listen. Then he said, "If they wanna get skinny quickly, just tell them to take some crystal meth... or crack would work as well." I refuted that with, "I love them i don't what them messed up in any of that crap." His reply was, "How can you love them and encourage their slow suicide by hunger." I almost cried. He doesn't understand even though he says he does... But i didn't tell him he hurt me. I knew he didn't mean to, and it would hurt him to know that he'd hurt me so i acted as if nothing at all was wrong. Still, it hurt...
Sorry about the whining, everyone. Hopefully my next post will be much more worth reading... I love you all who have had the patience to read through all of this with all of my heart. Stay strong, you beautiful people who i know really do love me.