So.. I woke up this morning and had the house to myself.... We all know what happens when i have the house to myself: binging. I excused it for myself because i'd been doing so very well the past two days, and also i woke up with that feeling like something bad was going to happen, so i drowned the worry coming from that feeling with food. Two PB&J sandwiches, two apple cinnamon rice cakes, and a chicken patty sandwich later, i still wanted more, but was embarrassed that i was using up so much bread. I wanted to hide the binge, of course, and that much less bread later, it was going to be a bit hard. So i skipped the bread and made a sandwich of two slices of cheese with ranch in between (weird as hell, i know). Ugh. I'm a ridiculous, pathetic, fat food-whore. I wish i knew how to purge. I've tried all the different tricks... and none of them work for me. But after failure like that, i don't deserve to get rid of the fat i put on myself; it's a just punishment for my ridiculous weakness.
Oh, and to everyone who disapproves of my blog and Ana, but keeps on reading and trying to shove food down my throat to make me fat under the pretense of caring about me, i'm going to ask you once nicely: just leave.