Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Well, hello...

I take forever to update, don't i? Grrr! Lazy butt!
Anyway, i took all of your advice about the sex thing, and talked to Jesse in detail about it. He pitched a fit just as i suspected he would from hearing me say how ugly i felt, but i think it made him understand why i am the way i am about anything sexual now. It all happened last night. He kept touching me and i kept pushing him away. Eventually, he got that sad, puppy face and asked me why i was doing that. So i swallowed my fear that he'd be angry with me for feeling the way i do about my pregnant body and told him. He told me a billion times that i'm not fat, and i'm not ugly, and of course i argued to the opposite end of it all, but in the end it all turned out quite well. We made love, and the entire time all he did was tell me i was beautiful, and that he loves me. AND might i add, he asked me why i never take my shirt off! I guess he really was just clueless to how i felt. So that's actually quite a relief.
Oh, the trailer thing didn't work out at all. We didn't even get to look at it because the people who called about it before us took it before we even got the chance. Let's just hope that that's for the best. Tonight we are most definitely looking at a place though, and there's no one in line in front of us for it. The lady told me over the phone last night that if we want it, we can sign the lease tonight and it will be ours! She seems really sweet too. When i told her i'm pregnant, she seemed excited and was like, "Well, the one bedroom will be perfect for a nursery!" That instantly made me like her. It seems that she's really taking an interest in us as people, not as income. As long as the place looks liveable, i'm snagging it! Can't be too picky or i'll never have a place. Plus, it's not like we can't make improvements if they are needed. Oh, i really really hope this works out as beautifully as it's seeming to. I'm so ready to have my own place.
I'm doing alright as far as depression over the weight gain goes... for now. Let's hope that keeps up.. I just keep telling myself that it will definitely be worth it in the end when i see my baby. I also found a pregnancy weight gain calculator online, and it told me that i'm barely gaining enough weight. I'm in the lowest of the low weight gain range, so that's helpful to me. I know i'm gaining enough, but not too much. :)
I'll try to keep you all more updated. Maybe i'll even get my lazy ass moving tomorrow and walk down here to the library and tell you how looking at the appartment went! They did finally get their air conditioning fixed, so it seems much more desirable than sitting in the house with absolutely no AC.
Love to you all!


  1. good luck with the home hunting!
    Dont beat yourself up about the weight gain. Remember that you aren't using your pregnancy as an excuse to stuff your face full of junk like alot of other women do!
    It'll all be worth it when you have a beautiful baby in your arms

    molly xxx

  2. It's hard going through pregnancy, gaining weight for any woman, but even more so when you have weight/food issues. I hated gaining weight during pregnancy, even though I knew it was necessary & never practiced any bad habits during it, but I always had it in my mind. Hopefully the place you guys are looking at will be a nice place & you will get it! I'm sure that will feel good to get your own place & have it taken care of. :)