Thursday, July 7, 2011


I got all posative responses from you all on whether or not i should get the baby bump pictures taken, so i suppose that means i really should get them done. Let's just hope that whatever day i go in to have them taken isn't one of the days that i particularly feel like i'm hiddeous. I'm thinking of doing them sometime this next month. That way it's not too early, and not too late. (I seriously have this feeling that she's going to come premature. In all the dreams i have about my baby, i dream that she's premature, but with no complications at all. I take it as a sign.)
Speaking of dreams, i've been having the weirdest dreams ever! Some are just horribly violent and graphic. I dreamed about watching a bunch of pitbulls rip a man to shreds, and then the owner of the pitbulls disected and began to eat one of them. And every single bloody bit was so crystal clear... Then i dreamed about seeing an absolutely beautiful girl be completely dismembered and then beheaded, once again, perfectly bloody clear. Those kind are the ones that are the most upsetting, and i've had so many of them it's horrible. Then there's the ones that are blatantly odd ways. I dreamed about trying to seduce my one ex that i never slept with, and i dreamed about having the time of my life with a girl whose name i didn't even know (though i never have done anything with another woman). I don't know if it's all fantasies about things that i wish i could have done in the past and never got to do or what. It's not like i'm not perfectly satisfied with Jesse and i's sex life. I honestly don't think i could do anything with anyone other than him anymore. But yeah, my dreams are really really strange here of late, and i have no idea why. Perhaps it's my out-of-whack hormones?
Those hormones are turning me into a royal bitch though! Between my hormones being all screwed up, being terribly hot all the time because there's no air conditioning where we live, stressing out about getting my own place to live, and just feeling awful because i can't move around very easily (seriously, it's difficult to stand up from sitting down!), i'm completely miserable all the time. And i guess i'm taking my own misery and trying to inflict it on others because i've noticed that i keep trying to pick fights over nothing. I don't know why! I've never done that before. I've always done the opposite, and not cared if i was miserable just as long as everyone i love was happy, but here of late, i don't even know what's up with me. I picked a fight with Jesse the other day because he was tired and fell asleep almost as soon as he got home from work, saying he didn't want to spend any time with me. Wtf? How on earth is that a reason to fight. And i keep doing things like that. Ugh! Someone fix me; i'm broken!


  1. For real, pregnancy hormones can turn your brain into Major Whack Mode. My sis used to tell me about her dreams, and they were completely, violently absurd. And she was like Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Homicidal-Maniac with the mood swings. Maybe just remind Jesse and everyone else that you can't help it, and you apologize in advance? That way at least they know you don't really mean it.

    I think you should totally get baby bump photos taken. Just try and remind yourself that you're not fat, you're pregnant!! And you'll want those photos years from now. Your little girl will probably want to see them, too. <3


  2. Bloody hell! D:

    Its the hormones, it'll sort out when the spawn evacuates the womb *Hugs* Hang in there! Lol, all this aggressiveness is like your body is prepping you for disciplining a toddler XD

    Dammit! If bebbeh is early, I won't have the stuff to you on time! But if it is prem, it won't FIT the stuff now will it? 0.0;

    Love you <3

  3. LOL! You're not broken, Jo! You're pregnant!! And ALL the things you're feeling & thinking are being directed by your hormones... It's perfectly normal that you feel this way... You shouldn't be worrying about it! Just enjoy what is happening inside you. I'm not the least interested in having kids, but I ear it should be the best time of your life... :)
    And I'm sure Jesse doesn't mind if you pick up a fight or two... He sounds very understanding from what you tell us.
    All the best to you, the baby & Jesse! And take the pics!! We'll be waiting for them... <3

  4. You're not broken. Maybe a little cracked. There's nothing wrong with you. Your mind is just trying to process everything, flow with it. Be the proverbial river. And if you watch In Plain Sight, this might sound familiar.

    But it's true. Also, I've been following you for quite some time, I just started from the waaaaayyyy beginning. Took many hours of squinting at my ipod in the middle of the night, but was totally worth it.

    Your sense of creativity is just what I'm trying to achieve in my book. ;)

    Love you lots,

  5. You're not broken! I guess it really has something to so with the hormones... we all have heard of it, maybe it just feels different when one is experiencing it oneself. All the best for you <3

  6. How far along are you? I'm 34 weeks pregnant. The crazy dreams are normal, but mine are usually baby related. I dreamed that I took the baby out and played with her for a little bit and then put her back in my belly. I've also dreamed about a scary black snake going inside me and trying to get my baby. I've dreamed about being hit in my tummy a couple times. :-/

    The hormones haven't made me bitchy, but a little insecure. I lost about 40 pounds before getting pregnant, and now I've gained 35 and I feel fat and ugly at times. I hate seeing my pregnant face in pictures and in the mirror.

  7. You don't know me I was on here researching about this "ana" and come across your post. When you are pegnent your hormons are all over the place one minute your happy go lucky the other minute the world is agenst you. It's ok it is normal. Your not broken. Growing a baby inside of you takes alot of work. When you feel like that this is what worked for me was getting a foot rub. Your feet has certin nerves in them to help you change your mood. When you feel like fighting breath and ask yourself why am I mad. Green tea is another one that will help. I like that liptons green tea with citrus, and ice cold bottle of that on a hot day yummy. I know sounds werid but it helps. Your baby needs you to keep your blood pressure down. Your baby needs a lot from you. It is depending on you to stay healthy so it can be healthy. Lots of veggies is very good for the baby. The greener the veggie the better the baby's brain will develop. Carrots will help with the eyes to devolop stong and healthy. Meat for the protin that will help with the babys heart to be strong.Milk if you can drink it whole milk because of the Vit D helps with the babys bones. Have your tried yoga for expecting moms. That was another really cool relaxing way. It feels amazing. If you fallow the Dr's insturction, eat healthy and pamper yourself your baby will be fine. The baby will come when it is ready most importantly mom (meaning you)will be strong. I hope I helped. I know it is not my place but your baby needs you please take care of yourself. Oh before I forget read to your baby now, to hear your voice calm atually stemulats the brain cells and it comforts your baby. Have your man read to the baby to it will actually start bonding with him to so when it is 2 in the morning and the baby is crying he can get up and calm the little one down. Talk to the baby as much as you can if you have pick out a name start calling the baby by it's name. Like when you get up in the morning say "good morning ....." It is amazing what the baby will learn in side your tummy. I did that with my little girl and I told her good morning everyday when she got big enough to move she would rub her hand acrossed my belly, I would put my hand on my belly feel her do that, it was like she was trying to hold my hand. Makes me tear up everythime I think about that. She knew I was her mamma. Oh by the way baby bumps are not ugly it is beautiful because you are creating life the bump goes way it's not going to be there forever. Well good luck girl I wish you the best of luck with all of this.