Thursday, May 19, 2011

That's what's up.

So we moved again... cuz i couldn't take living with ryan's mom. She has some mental issues which she takes medication for, but i dont think the meds do anything at all when mixed with alcohol, which she drinks constantly. I'm crazy enough on my own, thanks; i don't need encouragement to go nutso. I cried almost every night living there. Now we're living with the people we chose to be the baby's godparents. We have no issues getting along... it's just a very tiny appartment, and i'm sick of living out of living rooms.

Oh stop your complaining, just be thankful you're not literally living out of the car. Instead you're only half living out of the car, and you know that really is better. *talking to self, don't worry, i do it all the time. it's just part of my craziness.*

No updates on the baby at the moment except i think i felt it kick yesterday. That was actually pretty cool and exciting. I'm 20 weeks now; more than halfway done. Woo! Now i just need a home for him/her when he/she comes. Oh shit, now i'm back to that rant...

Neither of us has a real job yet, and jesse's under the table deer farm job is bullshit. He hasn't worked once this week, not by his choice but because "he's not needed because of the rain." Yeah, big money making stuff there. I applied for unemployment (i think i already told you that), but haven't heard if i'm getting it or not just yet, so i'm job hunting like a mofo and getting nowhere with it. So yeah... i almost started my rant about how that's making me definitely not have a home, but i'm sure ya'll are just as sick of hearing that as i am of thinking it.

I think i'll just shut up now cuz all i do is bitch and cry about having no home. Sorry guys... I wish i was more in a good mood for you all... but i'm just not. I love you though... Leave me comments; help me through this cuz i know i can't do it on my own.


  1. Oh sweetie,
    I'm so sorry you0re in such a bad rut!
    At least, you have friend that prove to be truly devote (after all, they ARE helping you out!) and always remember that you have your loving hubby, you're not alone!
    (I know, it doesn't pay the bills)
    Be strong for your baby, for Jesse, for you. You deserve happyness.

    Love you lots


  2. Feh, who gives a toss? You're in a shitty, awkward uncomfortable situation and its causing a lot of stress. It's healthier to bitch and rant and whine (Even if only on the internets) and get it out of your system instead of letting it fester inside. Healthier for you AND the spawn!

    So: RANT AWAY!!

    You are also doing one HELL of a lot more about trying to improve your situation than a lot of people I could name *Ragefaces at useless people*

    Oooooh SPEAKING of wool, I brought the most AMAZING pink/purple/white (Pastel shades!) baby yarn on Wednesday. Booties or mittens? Baby mittens are pretty much a little bag-shape, so they should be easy enough!

    I wish there was more I could do to help you guys.

    Hang in there, love. Things will get better.


  3. im sorry you're still stuck in this rut. i live in canada in the province of saskatchewan. i live in a small town and there are literally 800 jobs here. if u go to its literally insane how many jobs there is in saskatchewan! hearing from others who live in the US and in the maritimes of canada who say its so difficult to find a job is really eye opening, because i never see that where i live. there is so so many jobs here that its ridiculous.

    hang in there and keep up the hunt.