Friday, March 4, 2011

Ana's Goodbye

My heart raced and my stomach lurched. The stomach lurching was no longer out of the ordindary morning routine for me, but the heart pounding was new, frightening, and somehow exciting. I reached for the pregnacy test, afraid to see the results. What if it was posative? What the hell would Ana do? Or what if it was negative? What the hell would Jacob do? Either way, what the hell would i do? I took a deep breath and looked at the result box. A plain little plus sign was so simple for me to see that it was ridiculous. I smiled, a terrified little smile and rushed downstairs to the bedroom to show Jacob the results. He smiled such a huge, ridiculous smile when he looked at it that i couldn't help feeling excited too. "I'm gonna have a baby!" he giggled like an excited little girl.
I laughed at him and nodded. "Yes... we are." He swept me into his arms and hugged and kissed me intensely.
Ana tapped my shoulder. "May i take part in all of this joy?"
I pushed her away. "No! You will have nothing to do with my child. EVER."
A hurt look crossed her beautiful bony face. "Why not?" she asked, sounding surprisingly innocent.
I shook my head as anger rose inside my chest. "You make my life hell as it is. You will not do that while i have a child that i need to eat for as well as myself. And you most definitely will not meet my child when he or she is old enough to understand all your stupid little tricks and hateful remarks. You will not make my child go through the same hell that you make me go through. Go take a damn vacation, and get out of my life..." I paused, afraid of what i'd just said. "But... please, don't leave me altogether. I promise i'll follow your advice again once the baby comes. I... i love you.. and i need you..."
She sighed. "I know. It's understandable for you to be overly protective," she said with a shrug. "I'll be back one the baby is born... May i at least hold it for a moment right after it's born?"
I shook my head almost sadly. "No. I don't want to hurt you, but more importantly, i don't want you hurting my baby."
She nodded. "Ok. I won't forget you, Jo. I'll come back."
"Promise?" i called after her retreating figure.
"I promise," she said, and turned around with a sad smile and wave. "I'll be back."

**I'm open for any advice on this pregnacy thing AT ALL. I know absolutely nothing, and i'm terrified and excited both at the same time. Anyone who has any advice, regardless of what it is, please leave me a comment.
...Does anyone know how to avoid stretch marks, and a bunch of baby weight after the birth? Those are the two things that scare me the most, as dumb as that might sound.**


  1. HOLY SHIT OHMYGOODNESS! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! that's so awesome, babies are the best. hmmm let's see, all I know is don't drink/smoke, what you eat the baby eats, oohh and if you exercise(not like crazy, but a little) a lot then the actual birthing goes a ton easier, and it makes you feel a lot better too. just go to the library and get a billion baby books and see what they say.. but OHMYGOD congratulations again(:


  2. Some advice. Eat super healthy. It's fun to be pregnant and be able to eat what ever you want and to have an excuse to. But it can cause alot of problems, it did for me. So eat well for you and the baby.
    Also love that baby with all you are. From a mother to a soon to be mother, that baby is more important than anything in the entire world. And once you look them in the eyes for the first time, you'll know how amazing that tiny baby is.
    Congrats honey! Stay safe and healthy. <3 Kat

  3. Wow, this is so wonderful! I am excited for you!

    I don't know anything about pregnancy but I shall pass on the rumors to you.

    Regarding stretch marks- I don't think they can be avoided buy I suggest starting to use cocoa butter, shea butter, or ideally a combination of the two. It helps skin maintain elasticity and heals scaring faster. Plus it's all natural and smells awesome.

    Regarding weight- I suggest speaking to a nutritionist and your doctor about it. You have to eat more but it's best for you and the child if it is a healthy and well balanced diet. Junk food may be craved but you don't need to feel obligated to follow those cravings if you don't want to. There are certain teas you can't drink but these will probably have a warning on the side somewhere. I know yogi makes a tea specifically for pregnancy. There are also special vitamins to take. A Physician can help you draw up a good plan and there should also be lots of pregnancy resources {not only regarding food but other pregnancy surprises} at your local library or book store. Arm yourself with knowledge.

    Exercise: I know that regular walking is suggested but there are also many gentle exercise classes you can sign up for. They are good for keeping fit and also reducing the stress involved. I suggest Pregnancy yoga and aqua-cise classes. Also, also, pregnancy massages and spa treatments. They are great for your body and it is a fun pampering treat.

    I wish you and your family the best during this exciting time!

  4. ZOMG BEBBEH!!! :D Congratulations, even though you're probably terrified! :p

    Dear god, EVERYONE is spawning atm! Hoookay, what have I picked up?

    1) For morning sickness, apricots and ginger work wonders.

    2) Get a good moisturizer for your puku. Go hang out in the hand/body lotion section or babycare section of the supermarket and read labels. For fading them afterwards, Bio Oil is said to be the bomb!

    3) Do your pregnancy nutrition research. People who pack on an assload of babyweight use their gestation as an excuse to overeat like a mofo.

    4) GET A GOOD OBSTETRICIAN!!! Find someone you can get along with and who will be in town for your birth. This is important. Some of my friends were burdened with absolute TWATS.

    5) Get all the nutrients you need. All the minerals, vitamins, protein, carbohydrates and fats. Brains need good fats to grow!!
    5b) Find out what food to avoid. There are some things you need to avoid during pregnancy due to food-borne bacteria.

    6) Listen to your cravings. There IS a reason for them, after all! What baby wants, baby gets at the expense of the mother's own physical health. You need to look after yourself so you and bub arrive at the due date healthy.

    Lol, if you get too frantic about baby weight, remember that breastfeeding (And hauling Bub everywhere) burns an ASSLOAD of calories. One of my friends lost all her pregnancy weight plus interest in the first 8-10 months of breastfeeding her son!

    if you'd like some knitted bebbeh good comment me back, ok? I miss having small, easily finished projects!


  5. Congratulations! Oh my god.
    Also, so good that you've made the decisions to completely ignore Ana for the baby's sake.

    Stretch marks - moisturise every day and you can use bio oil on them after the baby's born.
    Not everyone gets them though, it depends largely on genetic factors etc.

    Weight gain - you should expect to gain between 7 and 14 lbs over the whole of your pregnancy. Make sure you eat a balanced diet, but don't go overboard with calories cos you're 'eating for 2' - you shouldn't actually have to up them that much in the first few months. Also, make sure you take folic acid to prevent spina bifida etc.

    Hope that helps, good luck =] x

  6. Eat healthy. And don't stop moving. That's all the advice I can give you. :) Stay strong hon!

  7. Shea butter is supposed to help with the stretch marks. And I'm sure everything will be fine once you hold them in your arms or feel a kick <3 stay strong. Good luck

  8. Congratulations!!!

    The only time I never thought about actually restricting or binging/purging was when I was pregnant. I still thought about it, but not about doing it. It's great that even with a messed up food/weight mentality, we can do what's best when it affects a baby.

    Even though it's been said certain things can help with stretch marks, it tends to be a genetic thing. I used cocoa butter lotion throughout my pregnancy but I did get stretch marks towards the end. But the lotion did help with the itchiness I sometimes felt when my belly was tight/contracting.

    As far as post baby weight, I guess I would say watch what you eat while pregnant, meaning don't overeat or eat lots of junk (plus you don't want to increase the risk for gestational diabetes). You are not eating for 2 like the saying goes, because that fetus/baby doesn't need as much as an adult, obviously. I tried to eat healthy foods (when I was hungry or hadn't eaten in a while) & if something sounded good, I ate it in moderation. I think it helped with me that my appetite didn't increase much & the only time I felt nauseous was if I hadn't eaten in a while (no morning sickness thankfully). Also, breastfeeding can help you lose weight because your body burns calories producing it & all.

    I hope I don't sound bossy, lol, just trying to give you some ideas. I hope you have a safe, smooth pregnancy!

  9. Aw, I had my baby 14 months ago, no stretch marks and I only gained 9 pounds - the baby was 8.5. Lost it all the same day I gave birth and lost 20 pounds by breast feeding - I'm at 96 pounds now.

    I had decided that I'm special and that my body wouldn't get damaged. I might just have good genes though...

    Good luck!

  10. Mederma Stretch Mark cream works great, I use it and can tell it's working in less than 2 weeks (it says put it on twice a day put I use three) anyways you can get it at target :)