Thursday, May 13, 2010


"Jo!" Ana's call was loud in the silence of the room.
"Shush," i replied, holding one hand over my racing heart and the other over Jacob's sleeping head. "You'll wake my love."
A pout sneaked over her pretty little face. "I thought i was your love."
I sighed. "Ana, please, you know what i mean."
"No, i don't. Am i still your love at all?"
I shook my head. "I don't know."
Now it was anger that overtook her expressions. "You're being stupid. Come back to me and get rid of that fat that's growing more prominent all over your body."
I bit my lip. The fat was quite as prominent as she said, at least in my eyes. In Jacob's it was nonexistent, but neither Ana nor i saw it that way. "I can't come back to you... i made a promise to my Jacob."
"Bullshit. I was in your life far before he ever was. How is a promise to him important to you at all?"
"I love him," i answered her.
She shook her head. "You used to love me."
I knew i was hurting her, and that hurt me. "Stop, you know i still do."
"Show it through your actions then."
"Go away," i said softly.
"What?" The shock in her voice was evident.
I shook my head. "No, stay. I didn't mean that."
She raised her eyebrows. "Why should i stay if you don't do a thing i say?"
"You shouldn't."
"Not very convincing, sweetie."
"That's because i'm not convinced," i murmured and turned my back to her. "Let me be for now, please." I heard her moving toward the door. "No, Ana, wait. Stay in the room with me..."
Her twig-like arms wrapped tightly around me from behind. "You're so damn confusing," she whispered.
I nodded. "And so damn confused."


  1. i think that Jacob will make you happyer than ana. but that is just my opinion.


  2. The everlasting conundrum. Makes me sad because I feel the same way.

    A boy is sitting here with me looking at my pro-ana blog.

    It's a rough life, but someone has got to do it.

  3. <3

    Behhh she never did you any favours, when it comes down to it.