"Come back to me," i heard Ana's voice whispering in my ear.
I shook my head slightly, but didn't verbally respond. Jacob was right next to me. This was no conversation i wanted him to see or hear, for i knew that it would upset him that Ana was even a tempting option. Not that he would get angry.... He just wouldn't be at all happy.
"Idiot," Ana replied. "At least come talk to me."
I sighed softly.
Jacob noticed that sigh. "Is everything all right, love?" he asked, concern covering his gloriously beautiful face.
I nodded. "I'm fine, hunny."
"Something's bothering you," he said. "I don't like to see you unhappy."
I smiled, glad that he knew me so well. "It'll be ok, i promise." My stomach gurgled, unhappily full. In complete honesty i said, "I'm gonna have to run to the bathroom though. Those horrid deep fried chicken tenders are not agreeing with me," and i took off.
Ana followed. "I told you not to eat those, didn't i?" she bragged.
"Do i get no privacy, even when i'm on the toilet?" i responded.
She shrugged. "You know i'm always with you. At least this gives me a chance to talk with you without you not answering me."
I just rolled my eyes and bent myself over from the pain in my abdomen.
"Tell me something, will you?" Ana began. "Why do you think everything is going not so great? What reason would you give?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. Everything's wonderful between me and Jacob. We've never fought or even really disagreed."
She shook her head. "That's not at all what i mean."
"Then what do you mean?"
"Your parent's practically disowning you. No one helping you move that car you wrecked to try to get a bit of money from it. Not getting back to work as soon as you wished..."
I shook my head. "Ridiculous family, bad luck and slow progress. That's what reason i'd give. And those things will all work out soon and be just fine."
"You're wrong on all of your answers. Your parents don't want you because who really wants to point at someone as fat as you and say 'that's my child'? No one! And no one wants to help you move that car because no one wants to help a fat girl. You're not getting back to work as quickly as you thought because a fat girl is disgusting, and seeing a fat girl in a grocery store makes people buy less food."
"Stop, Ana. You're being ridiculous." I tried to ignore her words that had wounded both my pride and resolve to eat "normally".
She raised her eyebrows. "Oh, am i? Then what about that possible miscarriage?"
I bit my lip. Of course she had to remind me of that fresh pain. I'd been so sure that i would have my husband's child, and then suddenly bled abnormally only a month into the pregnancy that we had both so wanted. "What does that have to do with anything?" i asked, wiping at a tear that threatened to roll down my cheek.
Cruelty filled her next words, "It happened because no fat person deserves to be a parent."
The tears would no longer be held back. They flooded down my face. "Shut up!" I screamed at her. "Just shut up and stop hurting me!"
"I won't. That would be ceasing to tell you the truth."
I put my head in my hands and just sobbed. I didn't at all know what to do.