Monday, November 22, 2010

Hi... It's been so long. I miss you all so much, but it's hard to update when i don't even know where i'm spending the night. I've found a place to stay for a while now, and i know i'll be able to stay as long as i need to until Jacob and i get on our feet financially, but... she has two little girls, and they're so curious. I don't want them to find out about this and acquire Ana for themselves, so i've got to be careful and make sure that no one but Jacob and i are here when i do update. It sucks... but i'm here and updating, so that's a plus.
I've gained... Don't want to talk about it. I'm disgusting... and i don't even know where to begin to fix it, so i'm just gonna leave that out.
I saw a girl working at a gas station... she was skinny and lovely. She looked at me as if she knew me and smiled. I looked away quickly. Then when we went up to pay for our stuff, i noticed her name tag: "Ana". I looked at her in awe, and she smiled at me again. I shyly smiled back then hung my head, knowing that i'd failed Ana many times... Was she our Ana? I didn't know she really existed in the flesh, but the way she looked at me made me believe that she just might. I don't know. Maybe i'm just going crazy.
I've been having so many Ana-related dreams of late. Some are beautiful, and i want to stay in them forever and never wake up, but others are terrifying. Do any of you have those dreams often... or even occasionally?
Also, a shout out to anyone looking for a new blog to follow: Newbie is new here (as the name tells you), and feeling lonely. Swing by blog and show some love and follow.


  1. Sweet I've missed you so much, I hope you get in contact with me very soon. Yes I have dreams like them has well. Anyhow if you think you are going crazy, I too must be going crazy with you. I'm doing a new diet, one I've made up myself, it's posted on my blog. It may change over the months with a few tweaks there and then.

    All my love to you xxx

  2. thats crazy about the gas station girl but cool though. like a little inspiration and push.
    you will do fine at the new abode! us ana girls sure do have will power...
    stay strong!


  3. so good to hear from you again! i hope you and jacob get on your feet.

    stay strong, think thin, live ana

  4. Jo,
    I was so excited to see you posted when I logged in today!
    You are missed, you know that, huh?
    Anyway, I totally understand the situation is not ideal for posting!
    I am so not doing well with weight... the only upside is winter clothes do cover us up better! Also, weekends in London turn into junk-food weekends, and I have trouble dealing...

    I really hope the financial situation for you and Jacob gets better soon, you two have been through so much and totally deserve your own place to live and some peace!



  5. I've missed you so much, but I think you're right. It may not go very well if you post around those girls. Innocence is a lovely thing. I hope you're doing well!


  6. Oh yes, I know those dreams...
    As for "Ana"- that is so bizare but appealing at the same time. I would probably take it as a sign too. You're definitely not crazy, unless I am also. But would Ana work in a gas station? That's what I was thinking when I read your post. Eh. Just a random thought.